Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
The Harriet Dinner, Part II

Episode Report Card
Joe R: C- | 15 USERS: C
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

After the commercials (I have such a fundamental objection to direct-to-video sequels of Cinderella, I cannot tell you), Jack and the doofus twins are escorting a barely-conscious Kim to the dressing room. They only drop her once! Jack instructs them to lay her out on the cot, at which point she rouses herself long enough to request that Tom take his pants off. Jack says that she's going to have to chalk that up to one of life's little disappointments. Aw, Tom, I'm sure he didn't mean it like that! Tom offers to make some black coffee (which we all should have learned in high school does not actually sober you up), but Jack nixes that idea in favor of a "Prairie Oyster." Ah, a little of the hair of the dog, eh Rudolph? Simon's like, "I know how to make that." Jack's incredulous, but Simon's on the ball: "Brandy, Worcestershire sauce, vinegar, tomato juice, bitters, pepper, and a raw egg yolk." At which point you no longer feel drunk because you're too busy screaming. Jack's like, okay, but where can we get that around here? "I've got it in my room," says Simon. "What are you, Sinatra?" asks Jack. Heh. Simon exits, and Jack sets up to give Tom yet another withering taste of the back of his hand -- you know, metaphorically speaking -- when Cal gets in the intercom and asks to see everyone in the writers' room.

Upon entering the writers' room, Tom approaches Lucy, but she blows him off. Cal has called this meeting to tell everyone why the stage has been blocked off. He's going to be straight with everyone and tell them the truth. Which, if you've watched TV before, means that he's about to tell them a huge lie. To wit: "We failed our annual mold inspection." The word "mold" gets repeated about a billion times among the cast and crew, and Cal says that it'll be "about an hour" before they get up on stage. Jeannie's all, "An hour? I had that stuff at my house and I had to move out for three weeks." Dylan chimes in that mold is "toxic." Cal says that this is the non-toxic kind. Andy -- you can always count on Andy to be the teller of uncomfortable truths -- says that there is no non-toxic kind: "You breathe it in and you die." Nobody likes to hear that they're about to inhale their death sentence, so the room goes silent. Cal says that's not exactly the "can-do spirit" they employ at Studio 60. So, okay, more back-and-forth about the mold: "Deadly spores." Have they checked the dressing rooms? The mold is localized only in a small area below the stage. "We'll be rehearsing in an hour," Cal assures the group. "Everyone's fine." Simon's the first person to think of asking where Matt and Danny are. "That is a mystery," says Cal. "Though it would not surprise me if they were under the stage as well." It would not disappoint me if they were under the stage right now, either.

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Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip




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