Cal runs down Danny backstage, mentions the old guy, and explains that "Tars and Spars" is an old reference Sid Caesar used to make in his act. He then tells Danny the three names Eli gave: Bessie Biberman, Scott Trumbo, and Cole Lardner. Danny kind of snorts a laugh and explains that these aren't three full names, they're six last names, all of them belonging to members of the Hollywood Ten. As the audience at home draws all the necessary conclusions and begins mentally writing the rest of this storyline themselves, since it's pretty obvious now what's going on, Cal concludes that the old man is "playing" him, and Danny must agree, because he advises Cal to "let Security deal with him." Doesn't he realize that there's a lesson waiting to be learned?!

Speaking of which, Tom the Boy Grandpa is once again trying to educate his parents on the rich and significant History Of Comedy, this time getting to the era of the Talkies. Tom name-drops The Jazz Singer, and Mom seems to recognize that one (big Neil Diamond fan, eh Mrs. J?), but she can't get credit for it, because Tom's dropping anvils about how that movie was about a son whose father didn't approve of his show-business profession. Even Dad gets that one, and says so, calling Tom "Mark" in the process. Tom wearily corrects him, though if I were Tom and had parents who were functionally retarded Ohioans, I'd be happy my dad could form whole sentences without drooling. More History Channel crap about the studio and its "art deco fixtures" being bought by NBS and turned into a house for radio plays, then through the era of awkwardly named corporate-sponsored shows like The Colgate Comedy Hour and The Philco Comedy Hour from Studio 60. Tom does get synergy points by dropping some blacklist knowledge on his sandwich-boarded parents, who nod their vacant heads and daydream of tractor pulls and voting Republican.

Finally, Dad has a question: "When did you become an interior decorator?" Which, as my Midwestern Colloquialisms Guidebook tells me, translates to "When did you start taking it up the ass, Hollywood boy?" Tom's exasperated and says that he's just trying to tell them a story, which is what he in fact does. Mom doesn't want a fight, so she asks Tom how he "puts the skits together." Tom takes umbrage at "skits," which are what the football team puts on at the pep rally, as opposed to "sketches," which is what a crack team of skilled professionals spend a week putting together until Matt Albie throws them all out and writes some heavy-handed and unfunny crap in their place. Dad is having none of his son taking pride in his work, but Tom wants them to recognize that they're "standing in the middle of the Paris Opera House of American television." Dad loses it here, shouting that it's all well and good, but, "your little brother is STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF AFGHANISTAN!"