Outside the studio, Tom is walking his parents to their car. Wait, wait...their minivan. Naturally. Mom's still trying to be nice, but Dad ain't talking. Mom also drops the knowledge that Tom sent his brother's unit "the body armor they needed." Oh my God. It's like there was a contest for who could make this storyline even more preposterous. Tom says that his parents should get going: "It's a long drive to Yosemite." He offers them a place to stay for the night, but Dad apparently likes driving six hours in the dead of night, so they pass. Tom rounds to his Dad's side of the van and asks if he's got a turntable at home. "[As a culturally ignorant Midwesterner,] I don't have any use for a CD player," Dad grumps. I'd roll my eyes yet again, but maybe this is where Tom gets his "bah humbug" attitude about the internet from. Tom hands his dad a vinyl recording of "Who's On First" that he was helpfully able to get a hold of during the course of the evening. He promises his dad that if he listens to it, he's going to laugh. He then tearfully thanks his dad for teaching him all he knows, and Nate Corddry gets a little teary, and if this storyline had in any way come close to earning it, it might be a little touching. But it didn't, so it's not. So long, Jeters. May a redwood fall on your cardboard cut-out selves at Yosemite.
Thumping Timbaland beats escort Danny down a staircase inside Dance Club 60. He's greeted by Jack singing "Oh Danny Boy" in a less than friendly manner. The highball? Still there, though it's likely been refilled once or eight times. Danny greets him, but Jack ain't having it. He's looking for a fight, and Danny's gonna be his huckleberry. "But before I reach down your throat and squeeze your kidneys with my hand," he says (and...get 'im, Jack! Woo!), "I want to thank you for helping Jordan acquire for NBS a television series about the United Nations." He continues to rant, mostly that the U.N. is (a) boring, and (b) severely disliked by most Americans. ["I'm Canadian, and I'm fine with the U.N. as an actual governing body, but when it comes to pop-culture products based on it, holy shit is Jack ever right about the 'boring' part. The Interpreter! You guys! I WILL NEVER GET OVER IT!" -- Wing Chun] Jack's point (b) is one of those "hey, they voted for Bush twice, so let's just assume all Americans are small-minded idiots" arguments that are just so charming on this show. Jack continues to ramp himself up into a shallow-corporate-philistine frenzy about subtitles and boring peace negotiations, until he finally gets back to Danny and asks if he sees it as part of his job to fuck with Jack's company. "No," Danny smugs, "that's just one of the perks." HIT 'IM, JACK! Jack's pretty enthused about the prospect himself, but Mrs. Jack shows up in the nick of time and escorts him away while Danny smarmily munches on a cracker. Cal then appears and tells Danny that there's someone in the writers' room he's going to want to meet.