Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
The Wrap Party

Episode Report Card
Joe R: D | 1 USERS: F
YOU GRADE IT
Standin' In The Middle Of Afghanistan, Wastin' Time...

Still with Matt and Danny in the office, Matt relays the information that he thinks he was almost maybe gonna get kissed by Harriet earlier tonight. Danny would like Matt to see a hypnotist to break that voodoo woman's spell over him or whatever. Matt peers out the doorway to see three skankily-dressed ho-bags looking like Macbeth's three witches as styled by Rachel Zoe. Matt says he's not in the mood for this, but Danny's like some kind of STD motivational speaker, all "You get in the mood, buddy. Go out and catch those crabs!" Danny concedes that these women "didn't break the bank on their SATs," though Matt would like to know how long it's been since they took those SATs. "Don't be a snob," says Danny. ...Wow. Danny, who just called them all stupid, tells Matt, who just called them all young, to stop being a snob. Will his smarmy reign of terror never end??? Matt soldiers forward in what can only be described as a "let's get this over with" head of steam and greets "Shana, Laci, and Treasure." You know, sometimes parents want their kids to grow up to be strippers with these names today. They start futzing around in the control room as Danny makes the more formal introductions, where we learn that the girls are all aspiring actresses, natch. It's not a little disturbing how Danny has all this back-of-the-baseball-card info on these girls and is presenting it in the most "let's bring these items out of the display case" manner possible. Treasure says that she and her friends have been dating "inside the rock scene" (well...that's my cue to go take a shower, right there), but are looking for "more mature guys." "And you showed a lot of wisdom coming here for that," says Danny, who is just so old and gross. Matt tells Laci that he writes the show, a concept which Laci is having a hard time wrapping her brain around. You guys, I'm starting to pick up some subtle hints that these girls may not be on the same wavelength as Matt, mentally speaking. Hey, she may not know what writing is, but at least we know Laci can read, because as the girls spot Darren Wells down on the floor and start squeeing over him, she mentions that she read in Star that he's dating Harriet Hayes. Matt slumps his shoulders and looks perturbed as Danny suggests that they all head downstairs.

Elsewhere in the building, in what looks to be a lobby or lobby-esque area, Cal comes upon a decrepit old guy being harassed by Security. The decrepit old guy is being played by Eli Wallach, who I swear to God I had seen in one of those "In Memoriam" montages at the Oscars a few years ago. Maybe that was Burgess Meredith. ["If his appearance in this episode is any indication, I think we may be seeing him in that montage next year. He's got that same too-skinny face that Charles Durning's been rocking lately." -- Wing Chun] Eli's sort of babbling, but the gist is that he was wandering around the studio and took a framed picture off the wall. Cal asks Eli's name, and Eli seniles some word soup in response. Cal pulls Security aside, saying he doesn't think that Eli is indigent or a thief, but that he may have Alzheimer's or something like it. Before Cal can finish, Eli butts in, raving that he "can't go back to Tars and Spars." This really gets Cal's attention, and he starts smiling as the score wistfully tells us that we're about to learn a heartwarming lesson about respecting our elders tonight. Awesome! Cal tells Eli to have a seat for a few minutes; in return, Cal will let him keep the picture. Eli pulls his wits together long enough to deem this a "good bargain." As he leads the old man away, Cal explains to the security guard that this guy is a "fan of Sid Caesar." That actually does explain the senility, yes.

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Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

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