And now it's time for Matt and Simon's evening at the Improv. They're ushered through a crowd of rabid sitcom-pitchers and enter the main room to the dulcet tones of a Jack Nicholson impersonation. Man, that worked quickly this time. Usually when Matt enters a room, it takes maybe five or ten seconds for everyone else to get 70% dumber to compensate. Hacky Jack introduces our man Willy Willz, who steps up to the mic and goes after the white people like a fat man at the buffet line. Hey, I'm just trying to fit in. Willy starts this really interesting set of jokes about how, in the same or similar contexts, black people -- with mannerisms and language uniquely their own -- will react a certain way, while white people -- their own culture having provided them with distinctly separate affectations -- will act in a comically opposite fashion. Example: "Black people be all 'I'll take yo' ass out, BITCH!' while white people are like 'All righty then, sir!'" Hilarious. Simon's pretty disgusted, probably because he realizes that no respected comedian's hauled this material out of the mothballs in years. Then Willy moves on to the "white people pay their bills, while black people go to prison and have lots of baby mamas" material. Goody. Simon's outraged at this broadstrokes portrayal of black comedy and huffs out. Matt doesn't even stick around for his Courvoisier and Diet Coke before following.
In the hallway, Simon Says he figures he can do the rest of Willy's act for him, starting with how he likes his bitches with a big ol' ass. Willy, on cue from the stage, moves on to the "badonkadonk" material. Simon's pissed at Willy's idea that black people are different from white people in that they "don't pay their bills, respect the law, women, or each other." I like the irony of Simon -- after lamenting the fact that he doesn't feel like he has a voice in the writers' room -- unfurling such a patently Sorkinesque sentence and sounding pretty uncomfortable while doing so. Not sure if that was the intent. He apologizes to Matt for wasting his time, but Matt offers to stick around for a bit and buy Simon a beer.
Cal's gathered up Lilly to be his witness to snatching Eli Wallach's wallet. He does so and produces a Department of Veterans' Affairs card with the name "Eli Weinraub" on it, so it's nice we don't have to stop calling him "Eli." Eli looks scared and guilty as he confirms this. Cal asks Lilly if the V.A. has a number he can call to get Eli's address. Lilly basically says she knows a guy -- gotta love a tertiary character who "knows a guy" -- and sets off to get an address. "Nice trick with the Hollywood Ten," says Cal. "But I'm not as dumb as I look." Eli smiles and babbles and, once again, goes back to looking pensive after Cal leaves. Okay, old man. A dab of that'll do ya.