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Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
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So Bret sends the groundlings out for Anne's breakfast with virtually no instruction. Remember when Kate was still cute as she clutched at an entire pineapple? Now we know that, given the chance, she would have thrown that hapless fruit right under the bus. During the task, Ashlie managed to get lost on a six-block walk and nearly didn't find a deli in New York City, land of 1,000 delis. After the peasants returned, Anne set the competition's tone by walking down the line of subordinates and insulting them as specifically and personally as possible, especially William with his afore-mentioned Clockwork Orange aesthetic. In the end, Anne picked Ashlie -- cater waitress uniform-like clothes and all.

Next, the peons met Joe Zee, a poor man's Jay Manuel and Nolé Marin all wrapped in one. (Speaking of whom, why haven't they utilized Nolé in a challenge? He is supposedly an ELLE editor, and he has the added value of Empress Minnie! I love that fuzzy, half-comatose, tongue-hanging little bitch.) Joe Zee also gave Wee Willy a dressing down for his outlandish outfit, Devin for her self-consciously stylish '30s hat, Jason for his Michael Jackson glove, and Kate for her in-your-face breastises. Then Ashlie arranged teams for the first editorial challenge, consciously aligning herself with stronger teammates and relegating all the fashion rejects onto one team.

The contestants moved into their loft. Megan made a stink about rooming with "boobs," and Kate promptly kicked her to the curb -- or the couch, as it were. Shortly thereafter, in a never-before-seen moment, Kate hoisted up her punching bags to spar with Dyshaun. She rightly points out that he has no right to talk about her body, just as she is not snarking over his weenis, but she gives him all sorts of leeway and says he can trash-talk her about anything else. Oh Kate. Dyshaun naturally makes zero efforts to honor her wishes, cracking, "I just love to watch her blood boil because you can actually see her heart pulsating through her silicone." That Dyshaun, always a man of pure class. CK1 Cologne proves that she will not be long for this world by discouraging him to be such a dickwad while Megan literally falls on the floor cackling.

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