And send in the clown! William steps forward, and we get a full-body view. Oh, my friends, in addition to the aforementioned orange shirt, vest, bowler hat, and neckerchief, there are purple-green-and-black argyle socks and pedal pusher-length skinny jeans. It's like Tyra Banks staged a second fashion nightmares photo shoot. Joe Zee is rendered speechless, and everyone laughs. Joe Zee says the outfit is over-styled, costume-y, and looks like William is going to play the drums at midnight in a bar in Williamsburg. (Let the record show that I was there first.) In short, it's inappropriate and generally sucks at life (I added that second part). Then we get a pan up and, Oh. My. God. He's wearing jazz shoes. And the bowler cap has a twee little feather in it. This outfit is the train wreck that keeps on crashing. It's the outfit equivalent of Lindsay Lohan circa summer 2007!

Joe Zee turns his attention to Danielle. She says she was nervous due to her size limitations. Joe Zee compliments her use of color to accessorize, saying it's very this-season and that she "get[s] it." Danielle breathes a sigh of relief. Just a warning, girl: They were all super-nice to Toccara in the beginning, too...

Joe Zee sends them back to Brett for their first editorial challenge. The challenge offers a chance to prove their style and update their look, courtesy of H&M. And to that, I say, If it's good enough for MichELLE Obama, it's good enough for me. Brett says H&M has a wide range of clothing and that the minions will have no problem finding many fab looks there. As a former size 14, I dispute that claim on Danielle's behalf.

Brett explains that the minions will work in three teams, which Ashlie will choose since she won the assistant task. She spells out that this is a great advantage and chance to strategize. (Remember when reality contestants had half a brain and didn't have to have this kind of stuff spelled out for them? As Edith Bunker howled, "Those were the days!") For her team, she chooses Johanna, Cologne, and Dyshaun. She puts Arnaldo, Danielle, and Megan on the second team. The final team includes Kate, Devin, William, and Jason. William concludes his is the bush league team of this competition, per Joe Zee's assessment.