Stylista
Hidden Gems

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Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
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Fashion for Dummies

Brett tells them that Anne occasionally calls from photo shoots to request items from the fashion closet. For today's assistant task, they'll have to pull a list of items and dress their mannequins. Instead of asking for, say, a Balenciaga bag or Jimmy Choo pump, though, Brett gives general descriptions. She wants something knit, something woven, something with pin tucking, an empire waist, a set-in sleeve, an item with a dart, and one with a funnel collar. Dyshaun, the professional stylist, interviews that he doesn't know what set-in sleeves and darts are. Are you effing kidding me? I know what a dart is. Moving on, whoever gets the most items correct and styles the best outfit wins and gets to choose teams for the next editorial challenge.

The task starts, and the peons race around as 30 minutes tick down. Jason joins the chorus of discombobulation about fashion terms. Danielle smartly goes to The Fashion Dictionary for guidance but gripes that it took time away from pulling clothes. More than one contestant (including Megan -- damn her!) smartly decides to choose garments that fulfill multiple requirements (e.g. a woven dress with an empire waist). Jason, however, just picks random clothes and dresses his mannequin haphazardly. It's the style equivalent of marking all 'C's on your SATs.

Evaluations begin, and Anne asks each subordinate to identify the separate required elements. Suffice it to say, many do not know their pleats from their pin tucking. Anne arrives at Jason's mannequin and stares at it blankly. Not only does he not know his empire waist from his high-waisted pant, I suspect he does not know his ass from his elbows. Johanna has an armless mannequin but an understanding of empire waists. Dyshaun, too, flubs pin tucking. He stupidly asks Anne to define it. She sharply tells him to get a dictionary (which he had already).

Anne comes to Ashlie, who TH's that fashion comes second nature to her; she bats 1,000. As for Megan? She also gets all her elements right, and Anne calls her mannequin chic. Megan explains that she dressed many mannequins for her boutique. Say what you will about Megan, she does actually know her shit. Which makes her that much more annoying. Next, we have William. Will he redeem himself after sporting clownish attire during the last assistant task? Nope! He mistakes pin tucking for shearing.

After William, Anne comes to Kate and grimaces. We get a full pan-up of her outfit, which is the first sign that it is a hot friggin' mess. She has layered a maroon satin baseball jacket over a Pucci scarf dress and accessorized with a brownish-red leather wristlet, multiple Pashminas, and red patent leather platform loafers. I think William's girlfriend might wear this outfit. Anne asks if Kate's mannequin is and drunk or got dressed while on crack. She bids Kate to put her cracked-out mannequin in the gutter and topples the poor headless thing over. Ha! Dyshaun interviews that Kate has already given three terrible impressions (boobs, bus, busted mannequin) in such a short time. He vows to retire if she wins the competition.

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