Stylista
The Right Fit

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Visions of Johanna

Previously: Eight other fashion-loving hacks prostrated themselves at the Altar of Slowey, only to be scoffed at and discouraged from mixing melon with others types of fruit. Your three choices for the tastemakers of tomorrow include cunning Chinese linguist Johanna, professional buttboy Dyshaun, and entitled entrepreneur Megan. Who will be the first, last, and -- let's face it -- only Stylista?

In other news, I just lost eight hours of my life, y'all.

We open on the long, sad ride up the elevator to the Final Three. Dyshaun says he was sad to see Ashlie go. Nonetheless, he believes he's a true trendsetter. Yeah, a real avant garde of grammatical errors. Johanna believes she should win over Dyshaun because fashion is her true talent. This, of course, is an extremely easy statement to assert because it's impossible to prove given her lack of any actual experience. Megan, too, asserts that she should win on the basis of the fact that she can be found on Google. The F3 cheers to their inevitable 66.6% rate of failure.

The next morning, Brett and Malina barge into the apartment and blow smoke up the minions' asses before dropping the bomb that today they will each be interviewed by Roberta "Robbie" Myers, Editor-in-Chief of ELLE. They menacingly add that Robbie will want them to justify why they should have the job. Imagine that!

The next day, the underlings report for their moment before the firing squad. Dyshaun marches in first with his portfolio. Robbie says ELLE is looking for someone who is smart and ambitious. Immediately everyone leaves. Okay, they don't really. But they should. Robbie asks Dyshaun why he wants to work at the magazine. Within the space of about two sentences he manages to admit that he doesn't really read the magazine, not to mention slag Anne Slowey. Whoopsy! He tells her he was once given an internship at Seventeen based on his witty writing. At this, Robbie says she used to work at Seventeen. He replies, "Oh... nice," as if he's patting her hand and saying "Good for you!" The correct response (even if it were a complete lie) would have been to tell her that he already knew that and just roll with it. Also? If you knew you were going to be on a reality show about a specific work environment, wouldn't you research every person who ever worked there just to be safe? Then again, anyone who is actually resourceful and competent probably isn't applying for a job via reality TV. So there's that.

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