The Grass Is Greener Than You Think

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Kim: C+ | Grade It Now!
The Grass Is Greener Than You Think

Back at the house, party preparations continue. Ava tells Johnny that "Traci and Bryant aren't coming." Johnny says that Traci "scored some big interview in the Middle East," and Ava thinks it's a shame that they won't get to see their old friends who have never been mentioned before and probably will never be mentioned again. Susannah says that Traci and Bryant annoy everyone, including Ava. Mostly because Traci spells her name with an I (according to the captioning), like any serious journalist wouldn't change her name immediately to Tracy or Tracey. Why is Susannah suddenly playing a guitar? Is she going to cut an album with Bradin? Johnny mentions that when he and Ava were a couple, they were close to Bryant and Traci, but Traci likes to brag, especially about her vacation on the Isle of Capri, and it gets on his nerves. Ava agrees that Bryant and Traci "could get a little wild," so it's probably just as well that they're not coming.

Nikki and Goofy win a squirt-gun war at camp. As they're walking away, some chick in a bikini says hello to Goofy. He gives the chick, Amber, a hug, and she gives Nikki the stink-eye. I am not one to criticize young girls' bodies, because they have got enough self-esteem problems just being a teenage girl, but if she's going to wear a bikini...she shouldn't wear a hipster style, because it makes her look like a boy. I'm just saying. It's the swimsuit's fault, not the girl's fault. Goofy explains that he's staying with his father this summer. Amber is upset that Goofy hasn't called her this summer, and he explains that he's been spending time at camp with Nikki. Amber tries to snark that Nikki must be good at finger painting, but how is that a put-down, really? I mean, sure, the implication that Nikki is just a little girl, but come on. It's still pretty lame. Even better is the fat kid behind Nikki's shoulder, who was on her squirt-gun team, who is all, "Oh, buuuuuurn!" Hee. I wish that kid were a guest star instead of stupid Amber and Goofy. Amber asks if Goofy will be at his mom's house, and he replies that he won't be there for another few weeks. Amber and her two bikini minions take off. Why do mean girls always travel in groups of three? Well, I know why. It's because it allows the head mean girl to play her two friends off each other and remain in power. Nikki asks who Amber is, and Goofy says that she lives near his mom.

Ava scrubs the floor in a really close-up fisheye-lens shot that makes me wonder if the director of this episode hasn't watched a little too much early Malcolm in the Middle. The doorbell rings, and Ava answers it to find the fabled Traci and Bryant, bearing a fruit tart. Mmm, glazed kiwi.

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