Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 4 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Whores Do Dallas

Rectory. The Whore saunters into her father's office and takes a moment to admire her horrifying true visage in one of the mirrors. "'Horrifying'?! Where!?" I was being kind. "Oh! [Slurp!]" Castiel leaps out from behind a wardrobe, and...Christ, this is dull. Long story short, My Sweet Baboo pins The Whore's arms behind her back, but just as Father Rough And Ready's about to spork her, she pulls that mewling, whimpering crap, all, "Daddy! Please! No!" and stupid Father Rough And Ready falls for it, giving The Whore enough time to spit some serious Enochian in Castiel's general direction, and the angel goes down for the count. The Whore next flips some generalized telekinetic mojo all around the room, and Our Intrepid Heroes plus Father Rough And Ready go flying into various walls, allowing The Whore to escape. Next!

Community Hall. "Help!" cries The LYING LEAH WHO LIES. "He's a demon!" Her assembled human minions immediately attack the just-arriving Father Rough And Ready, knocking the pointy chunk of cypress from his hands. For his part, Sam, like, wrestles the soulless ginger into a headlock to prevent her from torching the unfortunates in the storage closet, leaving Dean to battle The Whore all by his lonesome. Of course, the supercharged Whore immediately beats Our Intrepid Hero to the floor and proceeds to choke the living crap out of him as he fumbles helplessly for the cypress stake, all the while sneering, "Please -- like you're a servant of Heaven? This is why my team's gonna win! You're the Great Vessel? You're pathetic, self-hating, and faithless! It's the end of the world, and you're just gonna sit back and watch it happen!" "Don't be so sure, Whore!" Dean snarls, and with that, he jams the stake into The Whore's stomach.

It then takes her a full thirty seconds of screentime to die. GOD, I hate this show.

And when it's finally -- FINALLY -- all over, a bleak-looking Janerva bleats, "But...I don't understand! How are we supposed to get to Paradise now?" "I'm pretty sure you're headed in a different direction," Dean rather predictably snarks, and then we're off to...

...the parking lot, where Our Intrepid Heroes load their heavily damaged angel into the Impala's back seat along with Father Rough And Ready, all the while bickering about the ease with which Dean slaughtered this week's primary monster. "How did you do that?" Sam wonders. "My long run of luck held out, I guess," Dean jokes. Sam's not having it, and angrily demands, "Are you gonna do something stupid?" "Like what?" Dean too-innocently counters. "Like Michael stupid!" Sam snaps. "Gimme a break," Dean snorts, and the two embark to motor on over to...

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Supernatural

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