Supernatural

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Demian: A | 8 USERS: A+
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The Hardy Boys Have To Muddle Through Somehow

And for a special holiday presentation, a special holiday title card: A yellow glass Christmas ornament explodes outwards in a fiery burst of orange backed by this season's red-tinged Devil's Trap, before the whole display morphs into six-pointed snowflakes drifting down past a frosty nighttime windowpane and "A Very SUPERNATURAL Christmas" appears on the screen in neon shades of red and blue. A Santa hat then drops with the snow to dangle off the "A" in "SUPERNATURAL" right before the neon "Very" buzzes and blinks and eventually flickers out. "Eeeeeeeeeeeee!" shrieks Raoul -- once again, finally, with delight!

Birds chirp in the blackness that follows as the location card emerges from the gloom to inform us that we're now in Ypsilanti, Michigan, "Present Day." Another aggravating preadolescent -- this of the female variety -- stares gloomily out through her living room window to her parents' extensively decorated front porch, where her distraught mother's describing The Night In Question for the benefit of Dashing El Deano, who's once again posing as an FBI agent. "My daughter and I were in our beds," Distraught Mommy distractedly reveals. "Mike was downstairs decorating the tree," she continues, "and I heard a thump on the roof, and then I heard Mike scream, and now I'm talking to the FBI." She shakes her head in disbelief at her current situation as Dean confirms that there are no signs of forced entry, and that no one nearby has a spare key to the house. Darling Sammy emerges through the front door at this point to thank "Mrs. Walsh" for allowing him to look around inside and, after the LYING LIARS WHO LIE assure the woman they'll be back in touch, Our Intrepid Heroes saunter down the front steps to the sidewalk before Brinda's mom calls out, "Agents? The police said my husband could have been kidnapped?" Compassionate El Deano's all, "Yes...and?" Brinda's Mom near-weeps something about ransom calls that have yet to arrive before heaving, "It's three days before Christmas -- what am I supposed to tell our daughter?" Darling Sammy unleashes The Super-Special Puppy-Dog Eyes Of It Sucks To Be You, Brinda's Mom, and offers her the ultimate answer that isn't: "We're very sorry."

The boys turn to leave, and Brinda's Mom's barely out of earshot before they start running through everything Sam found in the house, focusing their attention on the bloody tooth Sam discovered "in the chimney," and I'm just going to pretend I heard "in the fireplace" and keep going, because for one thing, there's no way Darling Sammy shoved his remarkably broad-shouldered form up through the flue only to emerge as spotless and unsooty as when he had entered, and for another, I really want to get to the good bits already, so moving along! Dean correctly reasons that there's no way a grown man fits up a narrow chimney, and Sam correctly amends that by noting there's no way a grown man fits up a narrow chimney in one piece. "Wheeeee!" Raoul boozily shrieks, for he's already well into his second flagon, and the prospect of a festive holiday chimney demon rending unsuspecting gentlemen from limb to limb is making him positively piddly with glee. In any event, the boys quickly realize there's research to be done, so it's off to...

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Supernatural

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