...Cozy Crafts, where the LYING LIARS WHO LIE intentionally play gay for once in their lives in order to pump the shop's owner for dirt on the deadly meadowsweet wreaths. While this particular masquerade of theirs isn't especially offensive, it's not especially amusing, either, so long story short, the wreaths were provided to the store's owner at no cost by a certain Madge Carrigan. "She didn't charge you?" Sam eyebrows. "Nope!" the owner cheerfully replies. "Did you sell them for free?" Dean grins. "Hell, no!" the owner readily admits. "It's Christmas! People pay a buttload for this crap." Dean's all, "Atta boy!" and next!
The Kinkade Suite, and this nicely quiet and attentively enacted little bit completely blindsided me when it came time for the recap, because, frankly, I've taken to forgetting about The Angst immediately after a relevant scene airs; the rewards for doing otherwise have been few and far between on this show, especially this season. This episode's a notable exception because of the way it ends, though, so here goes: Our Intrepid Heroes enter the tacky motel room, nattering for a bit about Madge Carrigan's mysterious and suspect intentions as they perch side-by-side -- but still several feet apart from each other -- on the ends of their respective beds. Eventually, Dean fondly slides the topic of conversation from wreaths of the deadly sort over to those of the beer-can variety, as their worthless bastard of a so-called father "liberated" one of the latter from a liquor store for their supposed benefit one year when they were kids, and they finally get to the point of the whole thing, which is this: It's Dean's last year on earth -- he gets this extremely apologetic and very nearly heartbreaking Duh look on his face when he reminds Sam of this -- and that's why he'd like to celebrate Christmas for the first time in over a decade. Sam gently enough responds that he's well aware Dean's Not Long For This World, thanks very much, and that's precisely the reason he can't go through with it. Dean looks distressed at this, and briefly flounders around in silence before gulping, "What do you mean?" "I mean I can't just sit around drinking eggnog pretending everything's okay," Sam quietly replies, "when I know next Christmas you'll be dead." Dean hasn't an answer, and simply nods his head around helplessly while offering a few Ducky Lips Of Silently Manful Anguish And Torment as Sam stresses, "I just can't." Both are sporting red-rimmed and watery eyes at this point, by the way, and if you think this scene's rough, just wait until it pays off at the end of the episode. You'll all be sobbing like little girls then.
The Suckage Of Christmas Past. Wee Dean finally reenters that filthy hole of a Nebraska motel room and hurls a bag of Funyuns at Wee Sam, who's supposed to eat them for dinner, and wow. Wee Dean sucks, so I'll be zipping through his scenes before this shitty little dicksmack ruins the entire episode for me. Long story short, while Wee Dean was out procuring junk food for dinner, Wee Sam rifled the filthy motel room for answers to his questions, uncovering both the gun Wee Dean keeps under his pillow and their worthless bastard of a so-called father's demonic day planner in the process. "Are monsters real?" Wee Sam demands, avec a tiny little bit of the wee bitchface, so Wee Dean knows his brother means business. Unfortunately, Wee Dean chooses to preface his answer by spewing an ocean of bullshit regarding Sucky John's superior strength of character, or whatever, so let's get to the point: Yes, monsters are real, and their worthless bastard of a so-called father's supposedly out there fighting one of them right now. When Wee Sam then wonders if Santa is real, too, Wee Dean's forced to admit that no, Santa -- and by implication all the rest of the good stuff -- is fake, and only the monsters truly exist. No wonder these two are so fucked up as adults. Wee Sam's anxiety quickly escalates, because he read in the day planner that the monsters killed their mother, and if the monsters killed their mother, then the monsters can kill their father, and then the monsters will kill them, and if that happens, then...! "It's not like that!" Wee Dean interrupts, not unkindly, as he sits down next to Wee Sam. "We're fine," he assures his brother. "Trust me." After a moment, Wee Dean asks, "You okay?" "Yeah," Wee Sam LIES, having turned his now-weeping face away from Wee Dean. Wee Dean attempts to further reassure Wee Sam that their worthless bastard of a so-called father will be back in time for Christmas, but Wee Sam's having none of it, and he curls up on his sordid little motel room bed to cry himself to sleep. "It'll all be better when you wake up," Wee Dean vows. "You'll see -- I promise." Were shattered Wee Sam able to respond without betraying the fact that he's now sobbing, he'd likely tell his mendacious older brother to shove his empty promises up his ass. As it is, though, he simply allows his bitter, bitter tears to drop silently into the CHOMP-less commercial break.