...The Carrigan Manse, whose apparently absent residents are nevertheless currently piping "O Come All Ye Faithful" out into the neighborhood for all to enjoy. Once on the front porch, Dean expertly picks the lock, and the two snoop around the overdone first floor with its snowglobes and gingerbread houses and hundreds of little Santa dolls until Sam spots the deadbolt on the basement door. The next thing we know, Our Dear Boys warily descend the staircase by flashlight, the beams dancing around the generalized gloom until Dean's lands upon a large porcelain enameled bowl filled with what just might be human rib bones, and you'll have to pardon me for a moment while I poke Raoul with a stick. "ZZZZZZZZZ-ow! What on earth is the matter with y...GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" I thought you'd want to be awake for this. "Oh, you lovely little man! It looks delicious!" You're so easy to please, my scaly friend. In any event, Sam's flashlight passes across some longer, grue-encrusted leg bones on the floor before it finds large splashes of blood on the stairwell itself, and as Raoul writhes around in his overstuffed armchair with delight at each new and disgusting -- albeit poorly lit -- tableau, Our Intrepid Heroes continue to stumble across various dismembered remains and the bloodied industrial machinery used to eviscerate the unfortunate gentlemen of Ypsilanti, until Sam gets far too close to a plot hole and falls in. ...Ooops. Sorry. My bad. He actually gets far too close to The Thing From The Chimney's leatherlike people-sized sack, dangling from a meat hook, and when Sam inadvertently brushes up against it, the still-gagged gentleman inside starts desperately thrashing about. We'll pretend that didn't happen, and that the gentleman inside has been long dead, because the episode completely forgets about the poor sap after this scene, so let's keep this moving, shall we? "Yes! Let's!" Excellent. Sam of course leaps backwards in shock right into Madge's outstretched hand, and we've finally -- finally -- reached the If It's Thursday, Sam's Getting Choked portion of this evening's entertainment. Yep, Madge -- displaying an inhuman amount of strength -- hoists Our Dear Boy straight up into the air and slams him against a wall. Dean, ever the hot-headedly protective big brother, howls and charges up behind her with one of those pointy evergreen stakes at the ready, but alas! Fast Eddie's right there to bang Dean's forehead -- hard -- against the cement foundation, and too-hasty El Deano crashes to the floor, unconscious. Fast Eddie grins at his still-glaring wife and ambles on over to her side as Madge swivels her head back around in Sam's direction to chide in a singsong tone, "Gosh, I wish you boys hadn't come down here!" Sam, flailing around in her grasp, somehow manages to train his flashlight on her face. For whatever inexplicable reason, it briefly illuminates her true form, and as said form is typically foul and sunken-eyed and whatnot, let's skip ahead to the point where Madge rams Sam's head into the surrounding concrete so his remarkably healthy broad-shouldered form can drop straight into a terribly grateful METAL TEETH CHOMP!
Episode Report CardDemian: A | 1346 USERS: B
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