...a late-90's flashback! As the opening guitar riffs of Foreigner's "Long, Long Way From Home" drill into the soundtrack, a 1997-era Impala with 1997-vintage plates (Kansas, "BQN 9R3," for those of you playing along at home) cruises in slow-motion towards the camera before stopping just long enough to expel Teen Dean and Wee Sam, who are arriving at Truman High for the first of what promises to be only a couple of days of school, as their worthless bastard of a so-called father -- never seen, though supposedly driving the Impala during this sequence, by the way -- intends to abandon them in Indiana for a week or so while he heads off on a solo hunt. God, John sucks. "Thanks, Dad!" lanky Teen Dean calls out cheerfully enough as he and Wee Sam start across the parking lot, for Teen Dean has yet to understand how much he truly hates his father. Teen Dean, by the way, is being played by Brock Kelly, who's done little more than soap operas and The Suite Life Of Zack And Cody in the past, but we'll not hold that against him, because he does a better job with Past Dean tonight than Ridge Canipe managed across two episodes, and besides, he's kind of hot. And while we're taking care of casting issues, you should know they managed to snag last Christmas's Wee Sam for this evening's presentation, and, as I believe I noted more than a year ago, because Colin Ford's got Jared Padalecki's bitchface down, I have no problems with that, either. So. In any event, after Teen Dean conscientiously assures himself that Wee Sam's fully prepared for the day with lunch, books, and a butterfly knife carefully stowed away in Wee Sam's massively oversized backpack, the two pause at the school's main entrance to barf up about a square yard's worth of exposition. Long story short, it's only November, but this is the third school they've attended in the last couple of months already, and Wee Sam's "sick of always being the new kid." Teen Dean attempts with the pep talk, but Wee Sam's having none of it and, with his wee little bitchface firmly in place, stomps off to class just as the first bell rings. Teen Dean -- worried because, as you'll recall from the THEN!, his main task in life is to keep Sam secure -- frets a bit over failing at his primary objective, but soon follows Wee Sam indoors.
Episode Report CardDemian: A- | 3351 USERS: B+
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