Episode Report Card
Demian: D- | 3 USERS: B
Cave Canem, Hardy Boys!

Meanwhile, Mandy's managed to bolt herself in and stows Aiden beneath a desk before rising to watch as Leather Bruiser arrives to hurl menacing noises in Guy Lucky's general direction. "You're protecting them?" an incredulous Bruiser snarls, feeling all betrayed and such. "After what I did for you? I gave you your life back!" "You're nothing to them!" he rages, indicating Mandy and Aiden in the office, and for whatever reason, this triggers something in Guy Lucky, so he hauls off and decks Bruiser in the chops. So Bruiser pimp-slaps him into a wall. Are we almost done here?

Elsewhere, that Doberman finally charges Soulless Sammy, but Sam busts a silver cap in the thing's mangy ass, and now we have another dead naked guy on the warehouse floor.

Back at the office, Guy Lucky rises to his feet just long enough to toss A Look Fraught With Significance at Mandy through the glass door, then dives towards the ground to morph into his doggie form, much to Mandy's understandable horror. Bruiser whips out an automatic of his own and aerates Dog Lucky's shoulder, but before he gets a chance to put another round in Dog Lucky's head, Sniper Dean manages to get a clear shot, and Bruiser goes flying sideways out of the frame from the bullet's impact. Sam spots Dog Lucky lying wounded on the floor and makes to, um, capture the injured beast? I guess? I don't know, and I don't particularly care. Just know that by the time Sam's sidled around to the warehouse office, Dog Lucky's vanished, leaving only a tiny puddle of blood on the concrete. And look at that! Here comes another CHOMP!-less commercial break! And what's that? Only four minutes and twenty seconds left? Hooray! "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Yeah, or that. Your call.

The Apartment Of ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz. Guy Lucky screws up his courage to rap at the door, and why are we still wasting our time with these people? GO AWAY. Next!

Oh, fine: Guy Lucky apologizes for deceiving Mandy and Aiden and asks to be let back into their lives. Mandy tells Guy Lucky to make like a tree, so Guy Lucky morphs into Dog Lucky and trots up to the nearby intersection, either to commit suicide by semi or to find some other sap to take him in.

"I'll never look at a dog the same," Dean grumps. We've retired to a ridiculously scenic and sundrenched park for this episode's denouement, and we join Our Intrepid Heroes as they sit at a picnic bench to enjoy a couple of sandwiches from The Beef Barn. Dean idly wonders how many other Skinwalker packs are roaming the nation at this very moment, but that's not important, because what is important is the fact that Soulless Sammy's decided he's got something to say. Because God knows if there's anything this show needs more of, it's these two pillocks yammering away at each other. In any event, Soulless Sammy's been thinking, and he's decided Dean is right. "I'm not your brother," he announces, much to Dean's surprise. "All that blah-blah-blah about being the old me?" Sam continues, calmly enough. "Crap." Dean pops an eyebrow or two, but Soulless Sammy's not anywhere near done. "Like, Lisa and Ben?" he goes on to explain. "I've been acting like I care about them, but I don't -- I couldn't care less." Join the club, you sweet little soulless monster, you. "Is this supposed to make me feel better?" Dean pisses, pointedly looking away. "You wanted the real me," Soulless Sammy reminds him, "and this is it. I don't care about them -- I don't even really care about you." I think I'm in love. "Except," Soulless Sammy notes, "that I need your help, and you're clearly not gonna stick around much longer unless I give it to you straight, so: I've done a lot worse than you know -- I've killed innocent people in the line of duty, and I'm pretty sure it's not something the old me could have done, and maybe I should feel guilty, but I don't." "Get to the punchline," Dean growls, and honey, I thought he reached that when he told you he didn't give a rat's ass about you or your fucking tedious problems. In any event, Soulless Sammy isn't sure if what he is now represents something better or something worse than what he used to be, but he's pretty sure he should probably revert, and he can't do that without Dean's help. Dean mutters some manly, platitudinous nonsense that basically amounts to, "Okay!" and then we finally, and at very long last, cut to black.

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