Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 762 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys, Defeated!

After dear little gay stoner Andy sheepishly hops back down to stand next to his ginormous hero, Lily The Lesbian gets loud, because she's feeling cheated, you see. Andy can get people to give him their wallets, and Ava and Sam can predict the future, but all Lily The Lesbian can do is stop people's hearts just by touching them. Bummer. And by that I mean it kind of sucks that she's the second-rate Rogue knockoff of the bunch. And like the X-Person she's so shamelessly ripping off, she's become a virtual recluse ever since her power manifested itself. Nevertheless, all she wants out of the current situation is a one-way ticket back to San Diego, which leads to a bit of sniping between herself and Jake until Sam deploys The Super-Special Puppy-Dog Eyes Of Gentle Reasoning And Calm Determination, which make them all shut up until dear little gay stoner Andy wonders aloud who brought them to this ruin of a town in the first place, and Sam is forced to deploy The Super-Special Puppy-Dog Eyes Of I Am About To Blast Your Previous Understanding Of The World Into Tiny Little Pieces, After Which All Four Of You Will Find It Exceedingly Difficult To Maintain Your Already-Tenuous Grips On Sanity. Or something like that. For you see, Sam understands that Our Yellow-Eyed Acquaintance must somehow be involved, and introduces the others to the concept of dark demonic forces sent from the flaming maw of Hell to ruin all of our lives. Andy, Ava, and Jake gape, but Lily The Lesbian merely scoffs and turns her back on him. They're certainly setting her up to be the villain of the piece, aren't they? And not just because of her hideous misuse of eyeliner, either. "I've noticed that as well!" Raoul agrees. "But we're barely ten minutes in, so you know there's a shocking twist waiting for us right around the corner!" "Shocking"? "Oh, okay! But you can't blame me for trying!" You're right. Now, let's see what Dean's been up to, shall we? "Let's!"

Turns out he sped up to Bobby's place in South Dakota for a little assistance. Unfortunately, Bobby has little assistance to offer, for the entire country's been silent as far as demonic signs and omens are concerned for the last month -- even "low-level stuff like exorcisms" has been nonexistent over the last four weeks. Dean's about to howl in outrage at the news when his cell phone chirps. He answers to find an urgently whispery Ash on the other end of the line, calling from Harvelle's, where he's found nothing on Sam. However, he has found something so "huge," that it would behoove Dean and Bobby to haul their collective ass to Nebraska, pronto. Seems whatever it is happens to be of such tremendous importance that Ash is unwilling even to hint at its true nature over an unsecured phone line. Dean's ready to protest, but Ash slams down the receiver on his end, cutting short the chat. Back in the pouring Dakota rain, Dean glances in disbelief at his cell for a moment before shrugging, "I guess we're going to the Roadhouse." The two hop into the Impala and grumble off.

Supernatural

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