Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: A+ | 8 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys, Triumphant!

...join Our Intrepid Heroes as they trudge back to the Impala. Okay, fine. What Dean actually did was lean down in close to the corpse of the human host The Ceiling Demon had been inhabiting this entire season and growl, "That was for our mom, you son of a bitch!" while more of that "Uplifting" Dreamworks-Style Behold The Wonderment Of Childhood Fulfilled CRAP played in the background, and now don't you wish I'd kept my mouth shut? Innway, back at the Impala, Zombie Sam's finally figured out why he suddenly craves braaaaaaains and confronts Dean about the whole messy revenant situation. Dean's forced to admit Sam did indeed die in the mud on Cold Oak's only drag, and that Dean traded his immortal soul plus all remaining years of his life save one to get Sam zombified. Or, you know, "back." There follows what in fact does amount to a touching little scene between the two of them over the fact of Dean's sacrifice, but I've become so soured on this entire evening's presentation that I'll leave it without comment. Long story short, Zombie Sam explains that, just as Dean's always thought it his job to protect Sam, so Zombie Sam has always believed it his job to protect Dean, and so Zombie Sam vows to do whatever he has to in order to extract his big brother from his current hellhound-related predicament. Until he needs to eat Dean's brain, of course.

Bobby and Ellen amble over for the denouement. Unfortunately, it's awkwardly written filler about the hundreds of new Hell-sent dark demonic forces they've got to battle in the coming days as Our Now-Deceased Yellow-Eyed Acquaintance managed to release an "army" upon the face of the earth, and Bobby hopes to hell Our Intrepid Heroes are ready for it, "because the war has just begun." Boston's "Don't Look Back" kicks in on the soundtrack, and Dean, by way of response, gets this brilliantly eager smile on his face. As the shot cuts to TrunkCam, Dean tosses The Fucking Colt into the trunk, and he gleefully announces, "We got work to do!" before slamming the thing shut on Season Two.

I was going to insert a lengthy rant at this point regarding how lousy this episode was both as a season finale and as a series finale had the network not renewed Supernatural for 2007-2008, but I got tired and went to bed, so I'll leave you all instead with this kindly message from yours truly to The Kripkeeper:

My dear, sweet Mr. Kripkeeper, sir, if Dawn Ostroff jerks you up and down about renewal next season the way she did this one? Plan on going out with a great big goddamned earth-shattering kaboom regardless of the outcome, like you did in Season One. Because that shit was awesome, and this most definitely was not. And so, Mr. Kripkeeper, a happy and healthy hiatus to you and yours, and Raoul and I will see you back here in the fall. Don't make us regret it, because Raoul will cut a bitch. "You better believe it, mister!"

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Supernatural

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