RAAAWWWR! "Eeeeeeeeeeeee!" Raoul delightedly shrieks, as is his wont, before turning to me in his overstuffed armchair and howling, "A TEAR?! A single, perfect, manly tear disappears into the opening METAL TEETH CHOMP!?" I've a feeling this development upsets you. "As well it should! If a tear is going to drop into the opening METAL TEETH CHOMP! of the season finale, it had best be A TEAR OF GORE!" Raoul, you know I could hardly agree with you more, but you really must settle down, or it's going to make for an impossibly long evening. "Okay! I don't really care that much about it, you know! I'm just trying to be conversational and such!" Thanks for the effort, my scaly friend. "You're welcome!'' Now, shush.

Elsewhere, G.I. Jake lounges al fresco in front of a fire he's managed to start deep within the lush South Dakota coastal rainforest surrounding Cold Oak. No, I don't know where he got the frigging tent, so don't ask me. Just as G.I. Jake nods off, The Ceiling Demon pops up on a rock opposite with a too-friendly, "Howdy, Jake!" Jake, to his credit, understands immediately that he's dreaming, and while you know how much I love me some Frederic Lane as Our Yellow-Eyed Acquaintance, let's get the bit of expository blathering that follows over with, okay? Long story short, if G.I. Jake -- "the last man standing" in The Ceiling Demon's ongoing demonic Cold Oak cage match among all of the super-special mommy-free and -having children -- does not now do everything The Ceiling Demon tells him to, Our Yellow-Eyed Acquaintance will "make certain" that Jake's mother and younger sister "live long enough to know the chewy taste of their own intestines." "And why were we not witness to that?!" Raoul shrieks, still feeling cheated. Because it hasn't happened yet, sweetheart. "Ooops! Never mind!" Seriously, Raoul. Chill. "Okay!" In any event, Jake quickly acquiesces to The Demon's demands, but we'll have to wait a bit to learn the nature of those demands, for first we must attend to the tremendously large matter of...