…And Then There Were None

Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 2 USERS: A
Ten Little Hardy Boys

There, that's better. Now, where were we? Oh, yes: When the RAAAWWWR! is done, the camera fades up on the interior of Bobby's Emporium deep within the lush coastal rainforests of southeastern South Dakota, where it finds the boys plus their host examining a map of Ohio. "I've been gettin' blasts from hunters all week," Bobby grunts, whipping out a red marker to draw bitty rings around various towns. "Nest of vamps," he narrates as he circles Edon. "Werewolf dance party," he continues, indicating a stretch of farmland northeast of Archbold. There have been shifters in Swanton and ghouls in Stony Ridge and Elmore, with a "ghoul-wraith smorgasbord" hitting the unfortunate inhabitants of Fremont's exurbs. "Is it just me," Dreary El Deano wonders, "or is that a straight kickline down I-80?" "Exactly," Bobby nods, using the marker to link up all of his circles. "Looks to me like it's a Sherman March Monster Mash," Dean frowns. "Yeah," Darling Sammy agrees, "but where are they marching to?" Bobby silently draws a red bull's eye around Sandusky, despite the fact that Sandusky's well off the Interstate's path, but whatever. Just go with it. "What is it?" Sam prompts. Bobby informs his houseguests of Trucker Rick's recent adventures with his trusty claw hammer, and before we know it, we've zipped over to...

...the Erie County Jail, where a now-mournful Trucker Rick blubbers, "It's like I told the cops -- I blacked out!" Trucker Rick's casually attired in his government-issued orange jumpsuit, but the boys plus Bobby are all in suit and tie, for the LYING LIARS WHO LIE are once again masquerading as FBI agents. "Just tell us what you do remember," Dapper Sam urges, unleashing the full power of his Super-Special Puppy-Dog Eyes Of Pleading And Doom upon Trucker Rick's hapless ass, so Trucker Rick has little choice but to comply. He was on his regular route the other night, and the next thing he knew, he was waking up in the front seat of his rig back at the cannery. Not knowing how he got there, of course, he called home, and when no one answered the phone, he returned to find his entire family dead. "Anything unusual before you blacked out?" Bobby asks. Why, as a matter of fact there was!

The boys plus Bobby hop out to the jail's office, where Super-Smart Sammy fires up his mad Googling skillz to access security camera footage from the opening sequence's gas station. They quickly focus in on the moments surrounding Eve's entrance into Trucker Rick's life, and of course, the cameras managed to capture the waifish demonette's true face -- glowing eyes, ashy complexion, and all. "What the hell is that?" Dean yelps. "I've never seen that in my life," Bobby rather unhelpfully exclaims, but he does manage to offer a likely explanation: "All those vamps and ghouls out on I-80? Maybe they're coming in for Mother's Day." Dean begins to fret that they haven't the faintest idea how to kill the Mother in question, but the frantic conversation that follows is soon interrupted by a flurry of activity from the sheriff's side of the room. One of the deputies, you see, has just received an urgent phone call, and when Bobby wonders what gives, the overexcited deputy blurts, "Guy just went postal down at the cannery!" Bobby hustles to follow the deputy out the door, calling out for Our Intrepid Heroes to finish up their work at the jail, and with that, we head over to...

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