…And Then There Were None

Episode Report Card
admin: D | 2 USERS: A
Ten Little Hardy Boys

MONTAGE! As I believe I've noted before, I do love me a good montage. Unfortunately, as this is one of the most witless and time-wasting montages I've ever had the misfortune to witness on broadcast television, I pretty much hate it. Damn you, Supernatural! Long story short, Rufus and Zombie Grandpa toss Dead Girl Campbell into the cannery freezer while Bobby and Sam lock the place down. There follows yet another endless round of Tough-Guy Jazz-Hands and flashlight-fu as the four search for the still-missing Dean until Super-Smart Sammy finally realizes he could have just called Dean's cell phone, which obligingly chirps somewhere very close to Rufus. A Mexican standoff ensues, Rufus and Zombie Grandpa aiming a shotgun and a revolver, respectively, at Dreary El Deano's head while Sam and Dean counter with their own automatics, with Bobby flailing around uselessly on the sidelines. Screaming also ensues, and it gradually becomes clear that Dean fell victim to some sort of demonic earworm that slithered into his brain, whereupon it assumed control of his body and forced him to shoot Girl Campbell in the chest. Of course, Dean remembers nothing of this, but he did just now wake up on the cannery's cement floor in time to watch the thing -- which he calls a "herpe," by the way -- shoot from his ear canal to escape through one of the building's many, many vents, so there's that.

Zombie Grandpa, naturally, doesn't believe a word of what Dean's saying, even after Rufus digs an index finger around inside Dean's head to find the expected amounts of bitterly black demonic goo still lurking in Dean's noggin, so it's left to Bobby to take control of the situation, which he does by insisting that everyone surrender their weapons, immediately. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" Rufus protests. "Think about this for a second!" "I'm thinking," Bobby replies, "that we don't know who is and who ain't got the damn Khan worm up inside his melon." The best they can do given their current situation, he reasons, "is to make it that much harder for that thing to blow [their] fool heads off." Bobby grabs a burlap sack hanging from a nearby nail, and the five gentlemen slowly -- s-l-o-w-l-y -- place their guns inside the thing, with a still-suspicious Zombie Grandpa last to do so. They then proceed to stare warily at each other for about three thousand years until Bobby...

...slings the bag into an employee locker somewhere else, which Rufus then secures with a padlock. The five then retreat to an employee break room that bears a suspicious resemblance to the one we endured only a mere two weeks ago, where Bobby and Rufus start working their phones, reaching out to their vast networks in search of any information they can find on demonic earworms. At one point, Zombie Grandpa rises to leave, and he's immediately challenged by Darling Sammy. "Bathroom break," Zombie Grandpa grunts. "So, unless you wanna hold it for me?" Sam does not, and so allows Zombie Grandpa to pass both unmolested and unaccompanied into the outer hall, because that's such a terrific idea when they've got a homicidal demonic earworm lurking in the building's ventilation ducts just waiting for the opportunity to infect one of them. To his credit, Dean soon enough leaps up to tail Zombie Grandpa to the can, dragging Sam along for good measure, but I think we all know he's already too late. They should have made Zombie Grandpa pee in the sink. "ZZZZZZZ -- revolting! -- ZZZZZZ!"

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