In a plot thread that gets put down and never taken back up, a police officer kills his wife and then himself after checking out a breaking-and-entering at a creepy old asylum in Rockford, Illinois. That opening sequence, however, creates an atmosphere, and that atmosphere in turn becomes a serendipitous confluence of events, as the Winchester brothers get a text message from their father directing them to that very same loony bin! Who needs plot when you've got atmosphere and serendipity?!
Though nothing can silence the creaky gears of this haunted asylum plot (not even a bunch of easy horror movie references), some interesting dynamics between the brothers emerge. The asylum is haunted because back in the 1970s patients were subjected to some crazy rage experiment, and then they rioted and killed their psychiatrist and themselves.
The psychiatrist took to haunting the abandoned nuthouse halls, enraging every person who happened to pop by. Sam, haunted as we all know by his own demons, falls into Dr. Crazytown's clutches and then decides to pour some "you're not the boss of me" hate on Dean. In the name of love, of course. Sam shoots Dean in the chest with their trusty rock salt gun, and when Dean hands him a real gun to finish the job, Sam goes ahead and pulls the trigger. Ouch, that's gotta hurt! Luckily, the gun wasn't loaded, and just you wait until the recap for me to unleash a fantastic Die Hard joke on you about that whole thing. In order to make the brothers' presence in the asylum even a tiny bit plausible, two lost and in peril teens are thrown into the mix as well. Oh, and also, at the very end of the episode, Sam wakes up to answer Dean's ringing cell phone, sits straight up in bed, and asks, "Dad?" Again, I recommend that no one hold their breath for an answer to that one. Just looking out for your well being! Can you tell I've got the wine chats?
So, who else is psyched for Felicity: An American Girl Adventure?
Roosevelt Asylum, Rockford, Illinois. Nighttime, creepy strings droning, footsteps falling, a camera proceeds through abandoned hallways shot through with rays of cool light. A flashlight illuminates piles of empty beer bottles, graffiti'd walls, and a shitload of papers strewn about the ground. Oooh, papers. Scary! A figure approaches a door chained shut, cuts through the heavy chains, and we see two pairs of legs as two people walk through the doors. Outside, two police officers get out of their patrol car and exposit. Officer Nice: "Can't keep kids out of this place." Officer Crazy: "What is it anyway?" Officer Nice: "I forgot you're not local. You don't know the legend. Every town's got a story, right? Ours is Roosevelt Asylum." Personally, I thought one of the premier stories to come out of Rockford is how one night a bunch of my friends and I stayed overnight there on our way to Wisconsin and ended up singing karaoke at this bar called Cheers of Rockford and my husband's rendition of "Welcome to the Jungle" got a crowd of ladies (each in an advanced stage of tooth decay) dancing on the bar and then all of us city slickers got bullied into standing up and singing along to "I'm Proud to Be An American." But, haunted asylum, I guess that'll work as local legend as well.
The officers enter the asylum and notice the doors that were previously chained shut. Officer Nice exclaims, "You tell me these kids brought bolt cutters?" and then suggests, "Come on, we'll split up." Dun dun dun. Officer Crazy walks slowly through a door labeled "Boiler Room" that apparently leads to another hallway. Meanwhile, we spend some time looking deeply into Officer Nice's eyes as he slowly shines his flashlight this way and that. Cut back to Office Crazy slowly walking through another door, and then back to Officer Nice slowly walking some more. Riveting! Officer Nice has come upon the offending kids and he tells them to come on out. Cut back to Officer Crazy walking slowly some more. His flashlight goes out, and then we cut to a monster's-eye view as something peers at him through a creakily opening door.
The parking lot. A very fancy yellow sports car pulls out of the lot. Bolt cutters AND sports cars? What is the world coming to? Officer Nice tries to reach Officer Crazy on his shoulder-mounted two-way radio. And, really, how COOL are those shoulder-mounted walkie-talkies? Fuck Manolos, I'm going government issue. Officer Nice doesn't get a response from Officer Crazy-- HE'S STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!! Officer Crazy does this weird look down/look up thing when Officer Nice asks him if he saw anything, and says, "Huh. No." They drive away as Officer Crazy crazy-eyes all over the place, turns his head away from Officer Nice, and wipes away some blood trickling from his nose.