Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: C+ | 2 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Are Not the Boss of Each Other

Cut to the Non-Boss of Me pushing his way into Room 137. More papers on the floor. Ooooh, scary.

Cut back to Sam and the kids, who have found that the entrances to the asylum are locked shut. Sam realizes that whatever is in there "doesn't want us to leave."

Cut back to the Office of Doom. Dean finds a secret compartment and pulls a leather satchel out of it, muttering as he does so, "This is why I get paid the big bucks." Um, as far as I could tell, you were taking a Sunday stroll through this place until a bunch of dead psychos pointed you in the right direction, so don't get too self-congratulatory there, bub. In the satchel is a "patient's journal" full of freaky drawings of scary-looking machines and lobotomy procedure tips and tiny, tiny handwriting. OH MY GOD NOT TINY HANDWRITING! Dean: "Well, all work and no play makes Dr. Ellicott a very dull boy." Dude, we get that you've seen The Shining. Number eleven.

Sam wheels around a corner back to the teens and tells them that, indeed, there is no way out of the asylum. Sam's cell phone rings and he hears Dean's voice saying, "Sam, it's me. I see it. It's coming at me. I'm in the basement. Hurry up!" How can it not occur to Sam that that might not really be Dean? He asks the teens if either of them can handle a shotgun, and Gayvin nearly pees his pants at the suggestion. J.V. decides to try out for Varsity when she says that she can. Sam hands her the gun and tells her that it is filled with rock salt, and that if she sees something she should shoot. She cocks the gun.

Downstairs, we get a shot of the "Boiler Room" door -- from the wrong side so it is spelled backwards, so okay, okay, REDRUM REDRUM, number freaking twelve -- that Officer Crazy went through just before going, well, crazy. Sam walks a little less slowly than usual, yelling for Dean. His flashlight flickers and he taps on it, rather than remembering what he said last week about flickering lights being a sign of malevolent spirits, as a door creaks open behind him. He creeps slowly into the room with his rock salt gun pointing out in front of him. He notices a shadow of a figure behind a curtain and creeps over to it to fling it back. Nothing there. As he turns back from the curtain, a zombie Doc Brown suddenly appears. He tells Sam, "Don't be afraid, I'm going to make you all better," as he grabs each side of his head and makes poor Sammy's face turn all blue and electrified with rage.Commercials. The teens kneel in a hallway. J.V. Almost Varsity tells Gayvin that if they make it out there alive, "we are so breaking up." They hear a crash and see a shadow coming toward them. J.V. Almost Varsity jumps up and fires off a shot of rock salt at, it turns out, Dean, who ducks and looks totally freaked out. Aw, I don't think she's gonna make varsity after all. He asks why they're still there and where Sam is. Wah wah wah! The Three's Company mix-up plot comes to light as the kids tell Dean that Sam got a cell phone call from somebody claiming to be Dean in the basement. Dean leaves the teens of plot contrivance to go check shit out.

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