Of course, she swiped the lottery tickets. "SON of a BITCH!" Dean rages, while Jared Padalecki, lovable doofbag that he is, completely breaks character and cracks up. Raoul and I are happy somebody's having a good time. "KILL HER!"
Indiana State Penitentiary For Whackjob Gordons. The whackjob himself listens attentively as Kubrick The Krazy Jesus Freak assures him, "You were right about everything. Sam Winchester is more than a monster: He's The Adversary." And the heads of thousands of Deangirls across the planet just exploded at the exact same time. The Sambitches, however, find themselves immensely pleased with this development. Whackjob Gordon, meanwhile, chooses simply to prompt, "And what was it that convinced you?" "God led me to him," The Krazy Jesus Freak breathily exults, "and His will is clear!" "Oooo-kay!" Whackjob Gordon hilariously replies, obviously surprised he's allied himself with someone even more patently batshit than he is himself. "That's great," Gordon adds, regaining some of his composure, "and it's good to have you on board, but first things first: We gotta get me the hell outta here." The Krazy Jesus Freak nods at this with the conviction of the dangerously insane. "'Cause like I told you before," the whackjob concludes as the camera zooms in on his face, "Sam Winchester must die!" Muah ha ha ha METAL TEETH CHOMP!
Next week: Booze! Gambling! Usury! Whores! Plus "a rash of violent deaths." "VIOLENCE! WANTON ACTS OF UNREPENTANT VIOLENCE AND GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" shrieks Raoul, squirming around with anticipatory delight upon his overstuffed armchair, for he received so little of the good stuff in this week's depressing installment. "They better pick up the pace! I don't know how many more boredom-induced comas my poor brain can take!" See you next week!