Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 3 USERS: B+
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The Hardy Boys Wet The Bed

Meanwhile, The Big Bad Wolf's about to rip that fucking little midget to shreds. "Hooray!"

Unfortunately, Raoul and I must bounce back to the hospital with the camera for Doctor Garrison to deliver his valediction to Spectral Callie: "I'm so sorry, baby. But listen to me -- you gotta stop what you're doing, okay? You're hurting people. I know everything now -- I know the truth -- and it's time for you to let go. It...it's time for me to let you go." And with that, he draws his eyes away from the animated, eight-year-old specter of his daughter and focuses on her failing adult body. He gently strokes her hair for a moment before kissing her on the forehead, and this version of the fairy tale has no happy ending for the people immediately involved, because the kiss from her prince throws Snow White into a flatline. This makes Darling Sammy's hair very sad, indeed. Though, you know, give it up for Christopher Cousins and Ava Hughes in this scene, 'cause they both did really nice jobs with it. "Demian, I'm shocked! Since when have you ever had anything nice to say about those...those...things on our television screen?!" Since the glorious Kripkeeper made sure this one didn't have any lines to read? "Oh!"

Meanwhile, The Big Bad Wolf's almost through with that fucking little midget when Spectral Callie breaks off the link she has with him so she can go into the light, or whatever. The Big Bad Wolf immediately flaps his hands around in the air, all, "Where am I?" The Stupid Little Fucking Midget Prick escapes with his life. For now. "DANG IT!"

Hospital. Doctor Garrison and Darling Sammy's Sad Hair weep and sob and dribble snot and really bad bangs into a commercial break most woefully CHOMP!-less.

Denouement. Doctor Garrison thanks Our Intrepid Hero again while rather anviliciously noting he should have let his daughter go a long time ago. Once the good doctor leaves the scene for the last time this evening, that little prick smarms something hateful about letting go and bow-leggedly stompy-clomps down the hospital corridor. Darling Sammy's Sad Hair clenches.

Later that evening, under the still-full moon, the midget slumbers in this week's motel room while Our Intrepid Hero silently hoists his backpack and tiptoes out into the parking lot. A short time later, Darling Sammy's slipping his fake Cumberland County Sheriff's ID into a small wooden box crammed with a variety of disgusting tools of the voodoo trade and, after carefully considering what he's about to do, Sam buries the summons in a hole he's dug with his bare hands at the center of a nighttime crossroads. Sam waits a very long time for the saucy demonette to appear, and when she finally pops into the frame behind him in that mysterious way of hers, it's Jared Padalecki's real-life girlfriend, the equally darling and adorable Sandra McCoy! "Hi, Sandra!" Raoul shrieks, for he's been a fan ever since he stayed up far too late one evening and caught Cry_Wolf on Showtime Edge. Sandra, of course, doesn't answer him, because she's too busy flashing a blood-red pair of saucy Crossroads Demonette eyes at her boyfriend. "I'm conflicted!" Raoul admits. "I love her, and yet I want to call her a lucky bitch at the same time!" I know the feeling, my scaly friend.

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Supernatural

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