Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 2 USERS: B+
The Hardy Boys Wet The Bed

Deadly Action Sammy, meanwhile, repeats his original order, but Sandra all but waves her hand at this whole manly bravado thing, reminding Sam that his dim little midget of a brother "made that deal of his own free will, fair and square," so he won't be getting out of it anytime soon, as it's "ironclad." "Every deal can be broken," Sam counters. Sandra playfully flips her hair around and grins, "Not this one." "I'm just a saleswoman," she explains with a devilish twinkle in her eye. "I got a boss just like everybody, and he holds the contract, not me." "He wants [that miniscule bonehead's] soul bad," she continues, "and believe me, he's not gonna let it go." "You're bluffing," Sam challenges. "Shoot me," she shrugs, calling him on his own, "but the deal still holds, and when [that miniature moron's] time is up, he's getting dragged into The Pit." Sam finally lowers the gun, all but admitting defeat, as he demands to know the name of Sandra's boss. Knowing she's won this round, The Crossroads Demonette offers him a broad smile and carefully enunciates, "I can't tell you." "I'm sorry," she concludes, "but there's no way out of this one -- not this time." She grins up at him as the drums go all tribal on the soundtrack. The camera pans slowly in on Sam's fretful face as the drums give way to a solitary and mournful reed for a moment until...

...Deadly Action Sammy shoots her in the face! "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Sandra's eyes snap wide open as the magical bullet does a zappy number on the demon inhabiting her body, and she spasms and jerks back and forth a couple of times before flopping back into the dirt, dead. I totally did not see that coming because I never thought they'd actually have Saint Sammy go there and as a result? It was awesome! Raoul would agree with me at this juncture, I'm sure, but he's too busy shrieking himself into a conniption over how awesome that was. And as the soundtrack goes apeshit underneath the final shot, the camera gets all up in Deadly Action Sammy's steely-eyed gaze until everything gets swallowed up by the final collapse into black. "Eeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Next week, Pirates Of The Caribbean, starring Posh Bela, The Bane Of My Existence. I'm pretty sure it's gonna suck. See you then!

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