Some unspecified amount of time later, Nerdy Friend and Blond Girl sit at the coffee shop, filming themselves as they talk about artsy movies. We join them in mid-convo as Blond Girl says she prefers Last Year at Marienbad over whatever was the other choice. Nerdy Friend agrees wholeheartedly with her, desperate to show her just how much they have in common. Awkward cut. "You know Michael knows nothing about cameras, right?" asks Nerdy Friend, referring to the character formerly known as Brawny Friend. "Yeah, but I'm teaching him," Blond Girl says. Michael joins them at the table. "Teaching who?" he asks. "Oh, my boyfriend," Blond Girl says. "He's big, tall and handsome." The lovebirds flirt and kiss. Nerdy Friend turns the camera away from this scene of unremitting horror.
Later at the house, Nerdy Friend films himself sitting at the computer for some reason. I know that one of the conceits of these "found footage" stories is that the camera catches odd angles and moments of minutiae that wouldn't be caught in a more purposefully polished effort. But, seriously, who films themselves just sitting around at the computer? Pretentious jerks, that's who. He turns the camera toward the living room, where Blond Girl and Michael are talking about their futures, some five years down the road. Blond Girl wants to be a lawyer, but not one of those corporate types. She wants to do something "green," which prompts Michael to teasingly call her a hippie. Nerdy Friend voices his support for her choices. What does he see himself doing? "Maybe, like, working for HBO, you know? Or, like, Michael Moore." "Double hippie," Michael says from across the room. By this time, Blond Girl has the camera and turns it on her boyfriend, who says, "I will be on a boat in the middle of the ocean, with my beautiful girl by my side." Nerdy Friend scowls in the background.
We're over five minutes into this thing at this point, with nary a monster around, besides the green beast of jealousy. This is like the long party scene at the start of Cloverfield where everybody wishes that guy a happy journey to Japan and we in the audience get to know everybody as human beings so that we care when they're inevitably dispatched by the monster. It showed us how mundane life can be turned on its head at any moment, but then it was kind of a huge relief when the monster finally showed up because, dang, it was getting boring up in there. That's what's going on right now with this episode. I am rooting for the monster to hurry up and start laying waste to these people's mundane lives.