Supernatural
Bitten

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B- | 15 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Found Footage

Later, the kids are all in a panic when the devastatingly handsome FBI agents show up at their house. They run around hiding their bongs and whatnot before opening the door. One camera records the scene from a table in the entryway while Kate secretly films from a nearby window. Sam and Dean ask Brian if he knew the victim, if he's seen anything unusual and so on. "Have you heard about anyone getting bit?" Sam asks. "I don't think so," Brian says. Sam gives him one of their cards and asks to call if he hears of anything. Sam and Dean continue their conversation out on the porch, unaware that they're being filmed. "We could be dealing with another Mayan god," Sam says. "Ah, that's fantastic, because the other one was such a joy," Dean says.

"Dude, the FBI are looking for what bit you," Brian says to Michael, who's still clutching a giant bong. "Are you an X-File?!" Kate plays back the video of the devastatingly handsome FBI agents talking about Mayan gods. Michael grins. "I'm a golden god! I! Am! A! Golden! God!" They all laugh and cheer instead of being freaked right the hell out.

In the middle of the night, Michael gets out of bed, grabs one of the 10,000 cameras strewn about the house, and goes into the bathroom. He peers at himself in the mirror. "I am a golden god," he says to his reflection. The irises of his eyes change colors as he watches. He gasps. Something makes a moist, crunching sound. Michael grunts in pain and opens his mouth. His teeth elongate into fangs. His fingernail gives way to a long, curved claw. He punches the mirror. He goes back to the bedroom and touches a sleeping Kate with his clawed hand. That he has the presence of mind to film all this is rather impressive. Even more impressive is the fact that nobody woke up at the sound of the mirror breaking. Michael raids the fridge for snacks, but nothing quite satisfies his hankering, so he heads out into the night.

Scott, the interloping asshat, has assembled a group of his asshat friends. Armed with hockey sticks and baseball bats, they plan to go after whatever animal is on the loose and killing people. One of the guys has a cricket bat that is probably a leftover plot from last week's episode. Scott has a camera to record their noble mission, and the footage from which will magically find its way into our filmmaker's final video. The guys all go off in separate directions after their quarry, which seems stupid, but that's probably indicative of these guys' mental abilities. Scott comes upon Michael walking home from the store. Michael drops his groceries and runs off. Scott chases after him because he is a moron. Even if Michael weren't a superhuman monster, he'd still be heaps stronger than Scott. Scott calls after him: "If you don't come out and play, I'll go visit that little piece of yours. Kate? Yeah, I'll go visit Katie. I'll show her what a real man..." He trails off when he hears something rumbling in the trees. Michael, fangs bared, jumps out at him. Scott screams as the camera screen goes blank.

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Supernatural

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