Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: C+ | 2 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Off With the Hardy Boys' Heads!

Antique shop. Sam picks the lock, and the boys walk into a shop with about a hundred old mirrors. Dean pulls out one of the crime-scene photos and says they just need to start looking. The set is exceedingly dark. The boys have their flashlights up in backhand position. Why don't people on spooky television shows ever hold their flashlights like normal people do? In slow-pitch softball grip? They poke around for a while. On a wall, what looks like a silent alarm is blinking. Sam finally comes upon it, in traditional fashion, by simply walking around until obviously confronted with whatever it was he was looking for. They look at it apprehensively for a bit.

Sam walks up to the mirror and does the Bloody Mary shtick. He pauses between the second and third times to raise his weapon of choice for the night -- a crowbar -- to his shoulder. Metal Teeth Chomp.

Commercials. The brothers wait, but nothing happens. Car headlights pulling into the parking lot outside pour into the dark store. Dean says he'll go check it out and instructs Sam to "smash anything that moves." Dean creeps to the front of the store and is met with blinding light, which he walks toward. Cut back to Sam, who hears wind chimes (ever the harbinger of true evil) and looks nervously around. He keeps his head turned to the left, while when the camera pans back we see Horrible Long Black Hair Woman lurking just behind his right shoulder. Look back at the mirror, Sam! Look back at the mirror!

Dean walks out of the store and tells the cops to calm down because he just accidentally tripped the alarm. They ask him who he is, and he says "the boss's kid." I can't wait to find out that the antique store is owned by, like, Mr. Fernando Gaywater. The cops are incredulous: "You're Mr. Yamashiro's kid?" And I see they've gone with an ethnic joke over my clearly superior gay joke. Oh well, you can't win 'em all. Back in the store, we see Horrible Long Black Hair Woman in a mirror, with Sam just sort of standing there looking pensive. It is unclear whether he sees the figure or whether he just starts smashing mirrors, but smash mirrors he does. A bunch of times. He stands in front of what I think is the original mirror, but I have no way of telling because of the darkness, and suddenly his reflection is not doing what he's doing. His face starts getting veiny, his eyes start bleeding. His reflection hits below the belt, telling him, "It's your fault. You killed her. You killed Jessica."Outside, Dean continues trying to charm the cops, weaving some stupid story about having been adopted. They all chuckle, and an awkward silence descends. Dean finally mans up: "You know, I just really don't have time for this right now," and he hauls off and knocks them both out. Yes!

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Supernatural

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