Episode Report Card
Demian: A | 11 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Learn Possession Is Nine-Tenths Of The Law

An old jukebox clicks a 45 into place, and as Jim Morrison begins, "Before you slip into unconsciousness," Jo slowly awakens just as Evil Action Sammy's finished lashing her to one of the tavern's support posts. "What the hell is going on?" she groans. "What are you doing?" There's a large, scarlet bruise on her forehead that promises to burgeon into a nasty lump any second now. "Delightful!" shrieks Raoul. "So what exactly did your mom tell you," Evil Action Sammy whispers in her ear from behind, "about how your dad died?" "You're not Sam!" Jo charges. "Don't be so sure about that!" Evil Action Sammy hisses. "Answer the question!" He darts around to her side, scrapes over a barstool across the floorboards, and produces an absolutely enormous knife from...somewhere to press it against her face and soothe, "C'mon. It's me. You can tell me anything -- you know that." Jo just stares him down, so Evil Action Sammy repeats, far more deliberately this time, "Answer. The question!" Jared Padalecki's doing a fantastic job tonight, I have to say. "And I have to say he's looking fantastically delectable while doing so!" Raoul enthuses, fanning his claws in front of his overheated maw. Indeed.

In any event, Jo spits, "Fine!" and launches into the sad, sorry tale of Bill Harvelle's last hunting trip ever. He and Shut Up Daddy motored on over to Devil's Gate Reservoir in California to set a trap "for some kind of hellspawn." Billy Boy was the bait, you see, and when Shut Up Daddy jumped the gun, the hellspawn spun around and offed poor Jo's dear old dad. End of story. "Uh, not quite," Evil Action Sammy teases, casually leaning against the post, his mouth right next to Jo's head. "It hurt him -- it didn't kill him." Jo blinks, struggling mightily to keep it together, as Evil Action Sammy continues, "You see, Bill was all clawed up, holding his insides in his hands, gurgling and praying to see you and Ellen one more time, so my dad..." And here, Evil Action Sammy pauses for effect, all sniffles and regret. "...killed him!" With a bit of a singsong, he elaborates, "Put him out of his misery like a sick dog!" And then, giving into his musical impulses entirely, Evil Action Sammy actually croons, "My dad-dy shot your dad-dy in the heaaaaad!" God help me, but Evil Action Sammy is hot. "How could you know that?" Jo demands. Evil Action Sammy offers her an abrupt and dismissive, "I hear things," before rising above her to embed the knife in the post. "Why are you doing this?" she seethes. "Like daddy, like daughter," he easily shrugs, "you're bait. Open up!" And with that, he ties a knotted tea towel around her mouth. "I knew I recognized that!" shrieks Raoul.

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