Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 1 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Caged Heat

...entering the hovel to confer with Sam and Dean on the facts of the case. Castiel also tosses together some fast Enochian mojo to scry for Crowley's current location, but something's blocking the mojo's effectiveness, so Dean has Castiel whisk them all over to...

...The Campbell Compound, where they ransack Zombie Grandpa's office for clues until Zombie Grandpa wanders in to icily inquire, "Can I help you?" and then we get thrown into this bizarrely timed and CHOMP!-less commercial break, because the episode was apparently going a little too well up to this point, and the sadists responsible for this crap evidently needed to fuck with its momentum. "Oooh!" shrieks Raoul, whipping yet another expensive-looking sheet of monogrammed stationery from its exquisitely carved cedar case, and I can't wait to see where this is going. "'Dear Miss Gamble!' Oh, my!" Yes, Raoul? "The poor thing is still unmarried, isn't she?!" Yes, Raoul. "Thought so! [A-him!] 'Dear Miss Gamble! It has recently come to my attention that, in addition to your heartless refusal to kill all the infants, you have also chosen to eschew the charming and reliable Metal Teeth Chomp's services for this evening's presentation! This latest base and reckless decision of yours cannot stand, I say! Rectify this horrendous situation immediately, or face severe consequences! Yours most sincerely, Raoul T. DelMarvino, Esquire!" Wish I could see her face when she gets that one. "Where are the stamps, you silly little man!?"

Compound. Aftermath. "Whaddya want?" Zombie Grandpa growls. "We wanna know where Crowley is," Dean growls right back at him. And then this episode goes straight into the crapper when the conversation devolves into a tedious rumination on familial loyalty, or some such bullshit, so, in the interest of maintaining whatever tattered remnants of sanity I have left, I'll be skipping through most of the boring garbage that follows to tease out this scene's central and utterly asinine point: Zombie Grandpa refuses to help Our Intrepid Heroes because Crowley promised to restore Burnt Mary. Yeah, I know -- not Zombie Grandpa's brutally slaughtered wife, whose name is never once mentioned during this sequence, but his daughter, whose soul was supposedly destroyed way back during the first season, anyway. It's all so stupid and pointless and insulting and dumb, and I refuse -- REFUSE -- to deal with it, so fuck it, and then fuck it some more, and then fuck it one more time just for good measure, and rot in Hell, Supernatural. With Zombie Grandpa's deeply stupid character motivation thus revealed, Our Intrepid Heroes have little reason to remain at The Campbell Compound, and so return to...

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Supernatural

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