Supernatural

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Demian: C | 1 USERS: A
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Caged Heat

...The Hovel That's Masquerading As This Week's Motel Room, and strange as it may seem, this run-down shell of a home apparently still has electricity flowing through its wires, for when we arrive, we find Castiel rather earnestly watching something on TV while Sam and Dean pound away at their research beneath a couple of desk lamps. "It's very complex," Castiel mildly muses, squinting at the screen. "If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter," he continues, "why does he keep slapping her rear -- perhaps she's done something wrong?" "You watching porn?" Dean guesses, aghast. "Why?" "It was there," Castiel quite reasonably replies. "You don't watch porn in a room full of dudes!" Dean protests, and as I can't at all deal with yet another example of this stumpy little bow-legged douchebag's utterly offensive heterocentrism -- especially after the utter hatefulness of the previous scene -- I'll focus on happier thoughts, like the fact that My Sweet Baboo just popped some wood. "Dirty!" Indeed it is, my scaly friend, but it's also the first vaguely amusing thing to happen on-screen in the last five goddamned minutes, so we'll be giggling at it like giddy little schoolgirls for a while before moving on, okay? "Okay! [A-him!] Tee-hee-hee!" That's the spirit.

Suddenly, there's a knock at the door, and it's Zombie Grandpa. Shut up, Zombie Grandpa. "You sit around watching pornos with angels?" Zombie Grandpa asks, completely ignoring my entirely reasonable request. "We're not supposed to talk about it," Castiel offers by way of reply, effectively reiterating my earlier request for Zombie Grandpa to shut the fuck up already, which is why I love My Sweet Baboo. In any event, Zombie Grandpa's apparently had a change of heart -- which, you know: LIAR -- and he hands them a map of Missouri, with Crowley's likely coordinates circled in red. For those of you playing along at home, the pre-credits prison to which we'll soon be returning is located just to the south and east of the Floyd W. Jones Lebanon Airport in Laclede County. You're welcome. The tiresome humans natter away at each other for a while, and then Zombie Grandpa finally takes his leave, though we'll of course be seeing him again later in the episode when Crowley reveals that Zombie Grandpa's sold Sam and Dean out, because of that whole incredibly asinine bullshit involving Burnt Mary. "Demian!" chides Raoul. "Spoilers!" Oh, like anyone with half a brain couldn't have figure that out by this point in the evening. "Hee!"

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Supernatural

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