Rattle, Rattle Tacky Blue Glitter THEN! Once upon a time, there was a sassy demonette named Meg, who was quite awesomely used as some sort of Hell-sent meat carpet by My Sweet Baboo after she rather rudely offed the late and much lamented Ellen and Jo Harvelle. There were also Alphas, about whom much lore had been written, though we have to take Zombie Grandpa's word for all that. And finally, there was Crowley, who used to be in charge of the world's various crossroads before being promoted to King Of All Hell, a position he's been exploiting to locate Purgatory's current coordinates for some infernal reason or another. Oh, and Darling Sammy's still lacking a soul, though to be honest with you, no one but Dean seems to miss it. Got all that? Excellent, 'cause it's time once again for the...

...Rattle, Rattle Tacky Blue Glitter NOW! The camera opens up on Crowley's battered and blood-streaked face, and his torso, at least, has been firmly secured to a chair with several lengths of iron chain. "I told you," he wearily sighs, "I don't know anything about it." Barely have those words left his lips when some off-camera presence whaps him upside the head with an aluminum baseball bat. "VIOLENCE!" shrieks Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon, writhing about atop his overstuffed armchair with delight over this gift of the good stuff so early in the episode. "WANTON ACTS OF UNREPENTANT...! Wait a minute! Why are there two of him?!" An excellent question, my faithful recapping companion, and one I'm assuming has arisen due to the fact that another Crowley has just entered the frame? "It has!" You'll pardon me, I'm sure, while I attempt to explain. "By all means! Do!" Well, you see, the real Crowley -- the one holding the aluminum baseball bat, with which he has just clobbered the fake Crowley -- is apparently torturing a shapeshifter of some species in order to determine Purgatory's current coordinates. "Oh!" Raoul shrieks again, a perfectly manicured paw fluttering up to his chest as a deeply unnerving smile passes across his altogether impressive maw. "This charming little Friday-evening divertissement is so clever sometimes!" I want to think you meant that as a compliment, friend of friends. "I'm certain you do!" Then, I shall assume as much, and get back to the scene at hand? "Assume away, you agreeable little man!" You're starting to freak me out, Raoul. "Hee!"