Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | 2737 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Hail Hardy Boys, The Lord is With Thee!

...blue doors of a garishly decorated game show set, through which a silver-suited Asian gentleman bounds to announce in heavily accented Engrish, "Ah-ret's pray Nutcrackaaaaaah!" Our Intrepid Heroes have magically been strapped into immobile ski boots atop a pair of matching podiums which individually feature both an appropriate game show buzzer up by the player's chest and an ominous-looking hard rubber ball on the end of a spring-loaded pole down below the player's feet, so even without having seen what's to come in the promos for this episode, you can probably guess how Nutcrackaaaaaah! got its name. First question, to Sam, in Japanese, which Sam of course does not understand, though it has been helpfully subtitled for the benefit of those of us playing along at home: "What was the name of the demon you chose over your own brother?" Sam fails to answer in the twenty seconds allotted, so it's...a rubber ball in the nuts for Sam! "VIOLENCE!" Raoul roars once again. "WANTON ACTS OF HERETOFORE UNACCEPTABLE...oh, I can't!" You can't what, friend of friends? "You know! [Titter!]" What, scream about Darling Sammy's privates? "[Snick!]" Why, Raoul! I do believe you're blushing. "[Tee!]" Prude. "I can't help it! Hee!"

In any event, we're treated to repeated slow-motion shots of that rubber ball nailing Darling Sammy in his heretofore remarkably healthy groin while the host joyously shouts the show's name over and over and over again until one of his nubile assistants -- they're both clad in coy Sexy Devil outfits, don't you know -- calls the host off to the side for a live commercial promoting Shrimp Chips. Dean attempts to strategize, but he's not having much luck on that front, so it's really quite fortunate for him that My Sweet Baboo decides to barge in on the proceedings at this very moment. Yep, Castiel marches through the set's blue doors, and he's about to whisk Sam and Dean away from this torture with a simple touch of his fingertips when he...unexpectedly vanishes in a zap of televisual fuzz! DUN! "Mee-stah Treek-stah does not rike pretty-boy angerrrs!" the host chides before launching himself into round two of the competition. Second question, to Dean, again in Japanese: "Would your Mother and Father still be alive if your brother was never born?" That's all [sic], by the way. In the twenty seconds allotted, Our Intrepid Heroes engage in a hastily hissed processing summit during which Darling Sammy somehow miraculously stumbles across the fact that they have to play the roles they've been assigned in order to survive the overall game, and he orders Dean to answer in Japanese. Which Dean supposedly does, though the answer we're led to believe he delivers is "yes," and I'm not hearing any "hai" in that sentence he just blurted out, so whatever. "Demian!" Yes? "Wherever did you learn Japanese!?" Shogun, of course, you dizzy lizard. "Oh, I am such a silly sometimes! Of course!" Now, may I continue? "Please do!" Excellent.

Supernatural

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