So, Dashing El Deano's answer is correct, and he therefore wins at Nutcrackaaaaaah!, thereby proving Darling Sammy's theory just in time for...

...oh, my holy God, this has got to be the best part of the episode. Immediately after the METAL TEETH CHOMP! drags us all kicking and screaming into the next commercial break, the camera fades up on a serene-looking woman practicing yoga on the shores of a beautifully shot, sunwashed lake. "I've got genital herpes," she calmly announces. "I've got genital herpes," an elderly gentleman nods after the shot's cut to a tastefully appointed domestic interior. "Seriously?" Darling Sammy bitchfaces into the camera once the shot's cut to a brilliantly lit outdoor basketball court. HA! Dean hustles over for the briefest of moments to remind Sam that they have to play the roles they've been assigned, so Sam shakes his head and announces that he, too, has genital herpes. Hee! Poor Sam. What follows is an exact replica of every Valtrex ad you've ever seen in your entire life, with Dean jumping in to offer the following voice-over towards the end: "Patients should always consult with a physician before using HerpeXia. Possible side-effects include headache, diarrhea, permanent erectile dysfunction, thoughts of suicide, and nausea." Heh. By the way, as he reaches the end of that little speech, the camera lingers on Lady Yoga's camel toe. Or maybe it's her polterwang. Or maybe it's both. Your call. "It's both!" Thanks, Raoul. "No problem!" And in conclusion, Sam's happy he's doing all he can to "slightly lessen" the spread of genital herpes, and that's a good thing. I'm sure it is, Sam. I'm sure it is.