Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | 2749 USERS: B+
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Hail Hardy Boys, The Lord is With Thee!

After the actual commercial break, we land on yet another establishing shot of The Sun 'N Sands Motel as Dean VOs, "We now return to Supernatural!" and from there, we continue with the sitcom set-up from the top of the hour, and as it's as aggravating now as it was then, I'll be skimming through it to offer you the most relevant bits. "Okay!" I wasn't talking to you, Raoul. "Ooops! Sorry! Hee!" Argh. ANY-way, Sam hustles the bikini bimbo out the door, and there's some unfunny business involving the supposedly live studio audience until My Sweet Baboo comes barreling through the motel room's front door, looking a little worse for the wear since last we saw him, specifically with all of those cuts and bruises scattered across his otherwise pretty, pretty face. He's barely got Our Intrepid Heroes' attention when he announces -- referring of course to The Trickster -- "This thing is much more powerful than it should be!" Unfortunately, he doesn't get a chance to elaborate, for no sooner have those words left his mouth than The Trickster in question bounds through the door to hurl My Sweet Baboo up against the wall with a whack of telekinetic mojo, and when Castiel rises from his subsequent pile on the floor, his mouth's been magically duct-taped. The Trickster next flicks his fingers at Castiel, who promptly vanishes in a zap of televisual fuzz, and the upshot of the lengthy conversation that follows is this: The Trickster expects Our Intrepid Heroes to fulfill their roles not only within the confines of this construct of his, but also outside in the real world. In other words, he wants them to "play the roles Destiny has chosen" for them and acquiesce to Lucifer and St. Michael. The boys both offer defiant challenges, and for their troubles get snapped into...

... C.S.I.: Miami. No, seriously. No. Seriously. There's a garroted and skewered corpse lying in the midst of a copse of trees surrounded by swarming lab techs, and over at the perimeter by the police tape stand Sam and Dean, wearing sunglasses at night. HA! God, I hate Horatio Caine. And -- bless his little heart -- so does Dashing El Deano, for when he tells a approaching lab tech to go screw himself, and after Darling Sammy has ordered him to calm down lest they get their tantalizing asses slaughtered there in the middle of The Trickster's construct, Dean unleashes the following rant: "Calm down? I am wearing sunglasses at night! You know who does that? No-talent douchebags! I hate this game! I hate that we're in a procedural cop show, and you wanna know why? Because I hate procedural cop shows!" And while Dean's been so entertainingly twisting his boxers up into a mighty wad, Eagle-Eyed Sammy's noticed that their lab tech friend's sucking on a lollipop. "Think that's him?" Dean gulps. "Just follow my lead," Sam smirks, and as they don their sunglasses once more, a reasonable facsimile of "Won't Get Fooled Again" screams its way onto the soundtrack, and I really can't do justice in this recap to the dueling David Caruso impressions that follow, though I have to say that while Jared Padalecki delivers the superior Carusoesque facial expressions, Jensen Ackles does a better job with the vocal intonations. But enough of that, for while they've been trading painfully unfunny Caine quips with their lollipop-sucking lab tech, Dean's oh-so-casually coated the tip of a sharp stick with the murder victim's blood, and once he's sidled on over to the lollipop-sucking lab tech... "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Yep, Dean jabs the business end of the stick into the lab tech's chest, and the shot amusingly cuts to C.S.I.'s patented TMI Cam to show us the route the stick takes to perforate the lab tech's heart. Hee! The lab tech takes an absolutely ridiculous amount of time to die, given the wound he's just suffered, but... "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Well, I was going to say that it doesn't seem to bother R... "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" But I think you can figure out where I was going wi... "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!"

Supernatural

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