This Week's Motel Room. Aftermath. Sam returned from the library during the commercial break, and Dean now displays the gruesome contents of the microwave for his brother's delectation. One problem: Sam can't see the thick coat of black gunk. At all. In fact, to Sam the microwave's interior looks as sparkly clean as it did when it first came out of the box God knows how many years ago. Dean, quite naturally, is sorely perplexed by this development, and he keeps frantically insisting the microwave is positively dripping with ropy black foulness until Sam finally proposes, "Let's go with you see it, and I don't," before demanding, "What the hell was it?" Dean hems and haws and stammers and stutters and finally admits, "It was a little naked lady, okay?" A "little, glowing, hot" naked lady, to be more precise, "with nipples." He also reluctantly reveals that the little, glowing, hot naked lady with nipples nearly knocked him into next week before he managed to trap her in the microwave, and Soulless Sammy tries very hard not to laugh. "Shot in the dark, here," Sam guesses, "but did this little lady have wings?" She did, indeed, and Our Intrepid Heroes finally pinpoint the identity of tonight's actual villains: Fairies. During his furious bout of research over at the Elwood Municipal Library, Sam dug up a theory stating that the modern concept of alien abductions is simply a latter-day misinterpretation of the ancient goings-on of fairies and other like "ultraterrestrials," and Dean's close encounter with the "pizza roll" he just nuked is proof that theory is correct. "This is good!" Sam enthuses. "This is a lead!" "A lead where?" Dean squints.
Cut to the interior of Maid Marian's cottage, elsewhere within the Elwood city limits. The harebrained batshit lady of the house serves Our Intrepid Heroes tea in impossibly tiny china cups while regaling them with tales of fairies, sprites, spriggans, boggarts, brownies, gnomes, and goblins, and while Trish Allen is delightfully insane throughout the lengthy conversation that follows, let's cut to the chase: Fairies exist on a dimension parallel to ours, "and only people who have been there and returned to our world" can see the creatures here, which explains why Sam was blind to the remains of Tinkerbell in the microwave, and why he stared straight through that earlier red-hatted hobo at the diner. Though, you know, neither of Our Intrepid Heroes knows just yet that said bum numbers himself amongst this evening's primary beasts. Just so you're aware. Fairies traditionally abduct first-born sons (think Rumpelstiltskin), which explains the recent rash of disappearances in town, and rumor has it those first-born sons "are taken to Avalon, to service Oberon, King Of The Fairy." Another hi-larious moment of homosexual panic ensues the instant Marian unleashes this last bit of science on Our Intrepid Heroes' dumb asses, when Sam stares at Dean with stark horror on his face and gapes, "Dean? Did you service Oberon, King Of The Fairies?" Dean stares back at Sam for a very long moment, looking for all the world like he's going to pummel the pretty clear off Sam's face again just for thinking to ask that question, before he returns his attention to Maid Marian to wonder, basically, how one goes about killing the tiny little wretched things. Long story short, fairies have an extreme weakness for fresh cream, all fairies hate iron, dark fairies burn when they've been touched by silver, and if you spill sugar or salt in front of them, the fairies have absolutely no choice but to drop whatever it is they're doing and count the grains one by one. Got all that? Good. Next!