Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: D+ | 4 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Go Viral

Sam inquires as to the nature of Dean's suicidal outburst the previous evening while both boys were locked in the bowels of the River Grove clinic. After a few mild protestations on Dean's part, the soothingly anonymous piano melody kicks in again, and Dean...you know what? I can't do this. He barfs up some heartfelt confession involving the Grand Canyon and Tijuana and banging Lindsay Lohan -- no, seriously: BANGING LINDSAY LOHAN -- and it's all about him wanting to live life a little bit instead of constantly shouldering so much of the responsibility with regard to the coming Demonic War, and I totally understand his impulse to flee his miserable life, or whatever, but come on. We were promised The Secret, not this tawdry bullshit, so fucking get to it already. Dean eventually realizes how stupid he sounds, and mercifully shuts up, turning to pace a couple of feet away from Sam, who decides to take this opportunity to launch himself into some WHATEVER about fraternal I DON'T CARE that ends with the words, "Let me help a little bit." "I can't -- I promised," Dean flusters. Well, "flusters" by his definition, which is pretty much "jerk and twitch a little bit until the words finally free themselves of their own accord from his mouth." "Who?" Sam demands. "Dad," Dean admits. Raoul leans forward in anticipation. "I leaned forward in anticipation the first time this aired," Raoul huffily corrects me from the depths of his overstuffed chair. "I think I know better this time around." In any event, Sam's all, "What are you talking about?" so Dean chokes out, "Right before Dad died, he told me something -- he told me something about you." As a tense string begins thrumming on the soundtrack, the camera slowly pulls in on a close-up of Sam's suddenly fretful expression. "What?" Sammy breathes. "Dean, what did he tell you?" The camera reverses onto Dean as the tense string is joined by a mournful horn. We travel all the way in onto Dean's face until he finally lifts his eyes to Sam's and...

...Blackout! PSYCH! "This show makes me so tired sometimes," Raoul confesses, and I'm inclined to agree. So much so, that I'm not even going to bother with a "Damn you, Kripke!" because I'm too weary to type it out. Well, except for the part where I just did, but what the fuck ever. We plodded through this entire dreary episode for that? Ecccch.

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Supernatural

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