Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 5 USERS: A+
Oh, Hardy Boys, Do You Know What That's Worth?

Harvelle's Heavenly Hash Palace. Aftermath. And long, long, l-o-o-o-o-o-o-n-g story short, as Ash was his "congregation's number-one snake handler" back in the day, he was granted access to his very own "Blue Heaven" after The Ceiling Demon deep-fried him and everyone else unfortunate enough to find themselves in The Roadhouse during the second season's finale. You see, there is actually a multiplicity of Heavens, one for each customer -- though, supposedly, so-called "soul mates" get to share, if they so choose -- and only Ash has been able to figure out a way to move between them, because of his fancy degree from MIT, or whatever. To find specific people, he rigged up some kind of super-charged laptop that tracks the angels' conversations, and when he heard Sam and Dean had arrived -- "again," as Ash himself takes care to stress -- he naturally had to go find them. "'Again'?" Dean repeats. "This ain't the first time you've been here," Ash eye-rolls. "You boys die more than anyone I have ever met." This statement of apparent fact is met with blank stares from Our Multiply Dead Heroes, so Ash explains that the angels likely "Windexed" Sam and Dean's brains before they were sent back to Earth on previous occasions. The boys inquire about several friends and acquaintances like Ellen and Jo and their parents, but Ash -- perhaps ominously -- hasn't heard about any of them. Ash did, however, discover...Show Barnes! Hi, Show Barnes! Okay, now you can leave again.

Crap! While Sam and Ash geek out over Ash's super-charged laptop at the bar, Dean and Show Barnes share a quiet cocktail by the pool table. She first whaps him upside the head for getting her killed -- atta girl -- then settles back to chit-chat about this and that for a very lengthy period of time before finally getting to the point of this conversation: Her afterlife has been fabulous -- "one long show at the Meadowlands," to be precise -- so she's not sure why Dean continues to object to Michael taking Dean "out for a test drive." Did that sound dirty? "It certainly did!" Raoul shrieks from the depths of his den. A-ha! Thanks, Raoul! "My pleasure, I'm sure!" Anyway, Show Barnes argues that, if Dean says yes to Michael, and if the ensuing battle results in billions dead, then so what? Most of them will end up in Heaven, and that's really not such a bad thing. And as far as I'm concerned, Show Barnes has won this argument, so I'm tempted to scream, "Next!" but I suppose it would be remiss of me were I not to mention that Dean thinks Heaven is nothing more than a cheap, tawdry copy of reality, but then again, this is the thirty-one-year-old man who STILL WON'T GET OVER IT ALREADY, so I don't know why I bothered typing out his objection. Next!

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