Death's Door

Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | 5 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Cough Up The Hairball

So, after the dripping is done, The TMI Cam zips back down Bobby's brand-new brain tunnel until it dumps us...

...over in The Lush Coastal Rainforests Of Southeastern New Jersey, and whaaaa? I've been avoiding spoilers for years on this show, so truth be told, I had no frigging clue what was going on here when this episode first aired. Yes, I probably should have instantly understood they were pulling some weird, Bobby-centric mash-up of "Dark Side Of The Moon" and "In My Time Of Dying," but what can I say? It was late Friday night, and my mind had already shut down for the evening. Anyway, The TMI Cam dumps us in the middle of The Lush Coastal Rainforests Of Southeastern New Jersey, and we follow along as Bobby and the boys clomp through the forest in search of clues. It is still astonishingly boring. And as the three meander amongst the remarkably large ferns down there in the Pine Barrens, they fortunately dispense with the nostalgia for the halcyon days of their youth, or whatever the hell that bullshit was, in favor of immediately stumbling across...a mangled and bloody arm, dangling from a tree! "Well," Dean sighs, "I guess we found Phil," and it might interest you to know that the wording of that line changed slightly from last episode to this. You know, because what's left of Bobby's bullet-riddled brain isn't quite remembering things correctly. Oh, show. Oh, clever, clever, show. "Wait a minute!" Bullet-Brained Bobby breathes, seizing up all of a sudden like he's found himself unexpectedly hurled into a massive fit of déjà vu. "Something's not right, here," he continues, anxiously darting his eyes from left to right and back again. "No kidding," Dean duhs by way of response. "There's a corpse in a tree!" The camera lens goes all fisheye and wonky as it jumps over for an extreme close-up of Bobby's face as the gentleman in question realizes, "Something bad's about to happen!" and, after we pause for a quippy remark from Dashing El Deano, Bobby looks down in time to watch as a couple of drops of blood spatter onto his hand. He hesitantly lifts his fingers to his forehead, and when he draws them back, they're sticky with grue. DUN!

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