Supernatural

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The Hardy Boys In The Sky With Diamonds

...find themselves at Comatose Bobby's bedside, where the boys stand in stunned silence as the doctor explains the dire situation thusly: "We don't know what's causing it, so we don't know how to treat it -- he just went to sleep and didn't wake up!" Sam and Dean exchange Looks Fraught With Significance before focusing in on Comatose Bobby's ever-placid visage for a moment. DUN! "Are you sure that was a DUN!?" Raoul shriekily inquires. "Because it didn't really feel like a DUN! to me!" Who's writing this goddamned thing, dragon man? "Ooops! My most sincere apologies, I'm sure!" Well, okay, to be honest with you, I wasn't sure how to end the para-- "I KNEW IT! Hee!" Oh, leave me alone, Raoul.

Now, where were we? Oh, yes: The boys have arrived at Comatose Bobby's heron-themed -- yes, "heron-themed" -- motel room, wondering all the while why Bobby would ever be caught dead in a shitty little backwater like Pittsburgh. They quickly deduce he was on a case, and just as quickly uncover his cache of research, which Bobby -- apparent paranoid he must be -- has buried in the back of the room's closet. Among the expected maps and Post-Its and spectacularly psychedelic photographs of mushrooms on the hoof, Sam and Dean zero in on a rather prominently displayed fact-sheet on African Dream Root, which neither of them has heard of before. Fortunately, they also spot a nearby obituary for a local 64-year-old university neurologist named Walter Gregg, "who just went to sleep" one day "and didn't wake up." DUN! I mean, I'm pretty sure this time. "I felt that one!" Raoul assures me, and thanks very much for that vote of confidence, my scaly friend. "Not a problem in the least!" So, armed with this new information, Our Intrepid Heroes decide to split up, with Sam remaining in the heron-themed motel room while Dean heads out to investigate The Good Doctor Gregg's last days on earth.

Cut to The University Of Westmoreland's School Of Medicine, and in case you were wondering: No, Westmoreland County doesn't actually contain a university, though one might argue that Westmoreland's School Of Medicine can easily be found in the still-active glass-lined tanks of Old Latrobe. In any event, Dean enters The Late Doctor Gregg's offices accompanied by the late doctor's assistant, and it becomes clear from a glance at the books still stacked on the desk that The Good Doctor was actually an oneirologist. Dean, once again masquerading as a detective, attempts to confirm this, but of course elicits no more than a puzzled "I already went over this with the other detective" from the befuddled assistant. So he slathers on some of that old El Deano charm to get her to talk, but unfortunately for him, she's not having it. At all. "I'm sort of busy," she claims, and frostily wonders if perhaps they could "do this later," with "later" obviously meaning "some time around, oh, say, never." Dean changes tacks to threaten her with a more vigorous interrogation down at the station house, and fortunately for him, she chooses not to call his bluff, instead quickly spilling her guts over The Good Doctor's horribly illegal drug-related experiments on cash-strapped undergraduates. Dean demands all of The Good Doctor's research, now, and soon finds himself...

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Supernatural

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