Exile On Main St.

Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 5 USERS: B
The Hardy Boys...Don't Do Much of Anything, Actually

And those plot points? Big and dumb, so let's get through them as quickly and as painlessly as possible, shall we? "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Excellent. After Sam gave up trying to figure out what happened to him, he went back to hunting, but he didn't go back to it alone. Nope, he hooked up with...Dead Grandpa Campbell, who just happens to be cooling his zombie heels in the adjoining room with several of Sam and Dean's distant cousins! I just...I can' NO. And yet, it is true, so here goes: Around the same time Sam found himself flat on his remarkably healthy back in Stull Cemetery, Zombie Grandpa got pulled down from Heaven (or so he claims) by forces unknown. Zombie Grandpa tracked down a few of the surviving Campbell Cousins -- a snotty brunette named Gwen, a somewhat attractive blond named Mark, and the rapidly aging Corin Nemec -- then hooked up with Darling Sammy to form a roaming posse of implausible and boring. Dean, along with the entire audience, was under the impression that all of his mother's relatives were dead, but Zombie Grandpa corrects him on that, noting that only those relatives who knew of Sam and Dean's existence are dead, and that they've got thousands of distant cousins like the Trio Of Suck, here, many of whom have been in the family business all their lives. Dean eventually just throws his hands up into the air all, "FINE. WHATEVER!" -- or maybe that was just me -- and gets down to business: How did he get infected in the first place, and how did Sam of all people come up with the antidote? In answer to the first part of Dean's question, Sam reminds his brother of that frigging genie they whacked back during one of this series' best episodes. Seems The Apocalypse somehow endowed the remaining frigging genies on the planet with the ability to "blend in" with the human population, and they now take pleasure in offing people through their poisonous touch rather than hurling their victims into deeply wished fantasies while slowly sucking said victims dry as before. Because Our Intrepid Heroes offed one of their kind over four years ago in this show's chronology, several of the remaining frigging genies have decided to take the boys out. They started with Sam, and once that happened, The Roaming Posse Of Implausible And Boring realized the frigging genies would soon go after Dean as well, and that's what forced Sam to break his yearlong silence. As for the antidote? Zombie Grandpa's got mad skillz, yo. No, seriously. No, seriously. Just go with it, because Dean's suddenly realized Bendy Lisa and her gargantuan brat now have big, fat targets on their backs, and we've got to go screeching back to...

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