Exile On Main St.

Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 4 USERS: B+
The Hardy Boys...Don't Do Much of Anything, Actually

...Bendy Estates, where Dean crashes through the front door screaming his supposed beloved's name while Sam finds yet another Campbell Cousin -- this one'd been sent to keep an eye on the house, don't you know -- dead on the front lawn. Pity. And then the METAL TEETH CHOMP! arrives to drag everyone into the next commercial break, because the METAL TEETH CHOMP! is as bored with this crap as the rest of us are, and it really wanted to see the trailer for The Social Network. You can tell that the METAL TEETH CHOMP! doesn't get out that much.

Bendy Estates. Aftermath. Dashing El Deano frantically dials Bendy Lisa's number on his cell, but she doesn't answer, because she's just now entering the back door with her oversized offspring. Dean immediately orders both of them upstairs to pack their bags, for he intends to squirrel them away somewhere safe for the duration, and it's at this point that Darling Sammy lumbers in from outdoors. Awkward hellos ensue, and then it's off through The Winchester Wormhole to...

...the lush coastal rainforests of southeastern South Dakota. "Dammit," Bobby mutters upon opening his door to find Dean loitering on his front porch with Lisa and The Brat. "If you're here, something's wrong." Dean doesn't even bother confirming Bobby's suspicions, instead choosing to make with the necessary introductions, after which Bobby graciously invites Dean's fake family to make themselves at home. "Just don't touch the decor," he warns. "Assume it's all loaded." Good old Bobby. And as Bendy Lisa and The Brat disappear upstairs, Sam almost shyly edges into view on the porch. Bobby acknowledges his presence with a casual nod, which is all Dean needs to realize that Bobby already knows about Sam's miraculous resurrection, and screaming ensues. Secrets! Lies! Betrayal! Angst! "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Couldn't have said it better myself, Raoul. Long story short, Bobby basically reiterates Sam's earlier explanation for why Dean had been kept out of the loop for the last twelve months, and after Dean vents his considerable spleen for a bit, he spins on his huffy heel to bow-leggedly clompy-stomp out into the hall, where he finds Bendy Lisa descending the main stairs after having settled Brobdingnagian Ben into his temporary quarters. After assuring her of Bobby's bona fides, Dean rather flatly announces that he intends to hit the road with Sam. "For how long?" Lisa wonders. Dean remains silent for a very long time, then begins, "I'm so sorry." Lisa, who's apparently been waiting for this particular shoe to drop ever since Dean appeared on her doorstep a year ago, settles down on a step and fixes her gaze on him before asking, "For what?" "Those things were coming for me," Dean explains, "and I should have known." "How could you know a monster was gonna show up?" she counters. Dean, to his credit, does not retort, "Um, DUH. Do you not know what this show is about?" and instead apologizes for being "stupid and reckless" before echoing Bad Acid Flashback Azazel's earlier sentiments regarding the futility of running from one's past. "You're saying goodbye?" Lisa prompts. Dean remains silent for another very long moment, then settles in beside her to murmur, "I'm saying I'm sorry. For everything." Lisa takes that one in, then announces, "You're an idiot." Atta girl. "I mean," she continues, "I know it wasn't greeting-card perfect, but we were in it together." "I was a wreck half the time!" Dean protests. "Yeah, well, when the guy that basically just saved the world shows up at your door, you expect him to have a couple of issues," she snaps back, and point to Bendy Lisa. "You're always so amazing with Ben," she insists, "and you know what I wanted more than anything? A guy that Ben could look up to, like a dad." Dean looks guilt-ridden and abashed. "So, you're saying it's all bad?" she finishes. "'Cause it was the best year of my life!" Our Intrepid Hero has nothing to say to that, so the two sit in silence on Bobby's stairs until...

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