In an entertaining throwback to the arc-light Freak Of The Week episodes of seasons past, Our Reunited Heroes decide to bail on The Apocalypse for a little while in favor of some old-fashioned monster killing. Or, rather, Dashing El Deano decides to bail on The Apocalypse in favor of some old-fashioned monster killing because he doesn't trust Darling Sammy, and wants to ease his younger brother back into life on the road to see if Sam can still handle the pressure. Needless to say, this attitude of Dean's displeases The Ginormomope, but fortunately, they manage to process through their complex and delicate emotions regarding the issue with a minimum of fuss. Or maybe I lapsed into a coma during this episode's endless goddamned Chick Flick Moments, and will therefore erupt like a volcano of bile when I have to recap them.

Ahem.

So, when Dashing El Deano learns of an auto enthusiast who suffered massive blunt trauma injuries while sitting in a parked car, he drags Darling Sammy to Canton, Ohio, to investigate. Seems the enthusiast, after decades of searching, had managed to purchase James Dean's infamously cursed Porsche Spyder, and when Our Intrepid Heroes examine some handy footage of the enthusiast's death, they indeed spot James Dean's reflection in the car's shiny hubcaps, so they quickly set off in search of the pissed-off spiritual remains of a mid-century movie icon, but there are a couple of problems: For one thing, it turns out the engine number on the enthusiast's Spyder doesn't match the one from James Dean's (90059, for those of you playing along at home), and for another, a nearby Lincoln expert ends up dead from a gunshot wound to the head delivered, according to the expert's Latina maid, by Honest Abe himself.

Our Dear Boys realize Canton's got a wax museum (it doesn't, actually, but whatever), and upon investigation learn the owner specializes in collecting celebrity artifacts for display on the statues, so they break into the place after hours to salt and burn James Dean's keychain and Abraham Lincoln's stovepipe hat, thinking that'll be the end of it. Of course, they have to torch Mohandas Gandhi's eyeglasses, as well, after the crazed spirit of the notorious fruitarian scales all 15 feet of The Ginormotron to snack on Sammy's remarkably healthy neck, and the boys quickly realize something else is going on. Specifically, the invasion of Canton's nonexistent wax museum by a Leshi. A Leshi who decides to take the form of Paris Hilton for the episode's final confrontation, and while many on the forum boards immediately coveted the fashionable Louboutin pumps with which she kicked Dean's stumpy little bow-legged ass around the set, all were quite gratified indeed when Darling Sammy whacked her head off with an iron axe, which everyone knows is the only way you can kill a Paris Hilton. Or a Leshi. Your choice.

And in the end, there was a Crackle, Crackle SOON! that suffered from severe amounts of awesomeness, especially the teases of Our Intrepid Heroes getting magically flipped into episodes of a Japanese game show, a sitcom, Knight Rider, Grey's Anatomy, and -- perhaps most awesomely of all -- C.S.I. Miami. Apparently, Jared Padalecki does a mean David Caruso. Kick ass.