So, the flat-footed vampire underling pounces, knocking Girl Campbell to the ground before flying at Dreary El Deano's neck. In the tussle that follows, Dreary El Deano manages to get the upper hand for all of two seconds before Vampire Extra knocks him flat on his back, and I'd say things are looking pretty dire for Dreary El Deano at this point were it not for the fact that things are totally not looking pretty dire for Dreary El Deano at this or any other point during this evening's so-called festivities, because this miserable excuse for a Supernatural episode is utterly lacking in suspense. Yawn. Needless to say, Girl Campbell quickly recovers from that vicious knocking-about she so recently suffered at the hands of Vampire Extra, and she leaps back to her feet to lop Vampire Extra's head off. Off-screen, naturally, because this miserable excuse for a Supernatural episode is not only utterly lacking in suspense, but also utterly lacking in violence and gore. "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Preach, my scaly friend. Preach.

Dreary El Deano and Girl Campbell next stand around doing nothing until gunshots ring out from the general area of The Alpha Vamp's lair. Over Girl Campbell's strenuous objections, Dreary El Deano takes off through the woods and arrives at The Alpha Vamp's manse just in time to get...

...hurled into a disorienting flashback to that vision The Alpha Vampire sent him two weeks ago! Or, you know, a reasonable facsimile thereof, because I don't remember a couple of these shots in the original, but whatever, because the disorienting flashback's over almost before it's begun, and Dreary El Deano gets hurled...

...back into the present to stare at the various human and vampire corpses now littering The Alpha Vamp's expensively landscaped front lawn. And because this episode is so horrifically boring, The Alpha Vamp's expensively landscaped front lawn drags me right out of the story, such as it is, to ponder the following: Why would The Alpha Vampire -- who, as we later find out, is thousands, if not millions, of years old -- choose to live in the middle of nowhere in the American Midwest, surrounded by a passel of redneck underlings, when he obviously has the cash to live anywhere in the world? It's not like the vampires on this show can't pass for human in the first place, and you'd think The Alpha Vampire, with his obvious penchant for exquisitely tailored clothing and unique manicure strategies, might find it far easier to move through the more cosmopolitan urban areas this planet has to offer. Hell, it'd be a lot easier to find both prey and new recruits in the more densely populated cities, so why has he squirreled himself away all the way out in the boondocks? "Because he's as stupid as everybody else on this otherwise charming little Friday-evening divertissement?!" Go back to sleep, Raoul. "Okay! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!"