Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: F | 5 USERS: B
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Family Matters

Meanwhile, back at said trucks, Girl Campbell impatiently cools her heels until Dreary El Deano sneaks back through the underbrush just as Undead Zombie Grandpa arrives with Soulless Sammy, Parker Lewis, and the few remaining soon-to-be-dead extras who have yet to be slaughtered. To her credit, Girl Campbell covers for Dreary El Deano, then wonders how the whole hunt thing went. "Rough," is Undead Zombie Grandpa's curt and euphemistic reply before he bright-sides, "but one Alpha down!" "Where is it?" Dreary El Deano too-innocently wonders, claiming he wants to pay the supposedly dead beast his "last respects." "Bring marshmallows," Undead Zombie Grandpa grumps before LYING that The Alpha Vampire's "already on the pyre." The posse embarks in its various vans and pickups and Metallicars to leave, and before you know it, we've joined...

...Our Dreary And/Or Soulless Heroes out on the road some many hours later as they speed off into the night. Dreary El Deano makes various leading inquiries regarding that dawn's hunt -- and why he wouldn't have made these various leading inquiries regarding that dawn's hunt long before nightfall is far beyond my puny little brain's ability to comprehend, so whatever, and fuck you, Supernatural, and this goddamned miserable and hateful excuse for an episode can end ANY TIME NOW for Christ's bleeding sake -- and Soulless Sammy offers Dreary El Deano various evasive and otherwise LYING replies until Dreary El Deano stomps on the brakes and exits the Impala to bitch about secrets and LIES and the asinine levels of blind trust Soulless Sammy has placed with Undead Zombie Grandpa and the other idiot Campbells, and long story short...wow, I've completely lost my train of thought. What the hell is the point of this scene, again? "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Aside from that, lizard.

Oh, yeah: Soulless Sammy confirms that Undead Zombie Grandpa's been capturing various beasties all season long and dragging them off to some undisclosed location to torture various answers out of them. Why? Well, because Crowley told him to, but we don't get official confirmation of that until the end of this episode, and at the rate things are going, I think I'll have killed myself from all the boredom by that point, so long story short, Dreary El Deano shouts that because Soulless Sammy now lacks the proper, human instincts to carry on as before, Soulless Sammy will from now on pay attention to Dreary El Deano's orders and Dreary El Deano's orders alone, or they're breaking up. Or something like that. "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Yeah, that, too.

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Supernatural

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