Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 1895 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Meet Bristol Palin

Out in the shed, Bristol next tries for the door, but The Legend Of Billie Jean's got a rake (or maybe a hoe. I don't care) with which she hacks away at Bristol's misshapen mutant hands. Next!

Sam sends Husband and the now-rescued Special Needs out to the front lawn while Dean and Levi continue with the tussling noises below. Dean finally manages to latch onto his trusty pearl-handled automatic and plugs Levi full of lead. "VIOLENCE!" shrieks Raoul, giddily thumping his tail against the floorboards with delighted exuberance. "WANTON ACTS OF UNREPENTANT VIOLENCE AND GOOOOOOO-- Wait a minute! Is Dean...?! Is he...!? Is Dean...crying?! What is the meaning of this!? There's no crying in violence!" Now, Raoul, calm.... "THERE'S NO CRYING IN VIOLENCE!" Unfortunately, friend of friends, tonight -- for whatever stupid Hell-related reason -- there apparently is crying in violence, for when Levi, his chest thoroughly aerated, flops down dead at Dean's side, Dean appears to be more than a little disappointed with this turn of events. Shut up, Dean. "Shut up indeed! Hmph!"

Shed Of Tools. Bristol finally manages to break in and, long story short, Husband arrives just in time to sack up and drag the murderous mutant freak out into the clearing, where he guts the homicidal genetic abomination like a fish. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE?!" a hope-filled Raoul shrieks, and alas, my scaly and very sad friend, there is no gore to be had, for Husband guts the bloodthirsty mutant off screen. "Rats!" Um. "Eeek! Oh, now I've gone and done it! I've reminded myself of my earlier disappointment right after the last one and immediately atop the present!" I'm afraid you have, Raoul. I'm afraid you have. "[Wail!]" There, there, Raoul. Have a cocktail. You deserve it. "Copious amounts of gratitude, I'm sure!" Never a problem, Raoul.

The next morning, the boys hastily reload the hastily repaired Impala and, after thanking the surviving Monster Chow for giving them a head start on the soon-to-be-arriving police, motor the hell on out of there. There might have been a touching moment wherein The Legend Of Billie Jean gives voice to her belief that she, Husband, Sassy Daughter, and Special Needs will somehow manage to work through the late trauma together, as a family, but my shoulder hurts, so The Legend Of Billie Jean needs to shut up.

Supernatural

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