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Demian: C- | Grade It Now!
The Hardy Boys Meet Bristol Palin

And look at that! Sam's apparently listened to me for once in his extremely unnatural life, for almost as soon as he's flopped back down into the depressing and still-lingering stench left over from Dirty El Deano's ludicrous Titanic reenactment, the shot cuts to Our Intrepid Heroes in their proper places as the Impala grumbles up to the now-daylit farmhouse exterior in question. Dean promptly keys off the engine, and the boys disembark to hike up the stairs to the front porch. After the expected amounts of expert lock-picking, they ease themselves through the front door into the deep shadows of the foyer for a moment before ambling on through the first floor. Dean pauses to lob a couple of smart remarks regarding the ongoing mortgage crisis -- or not -- before they continue on...tracked all the while by That Thing From The Pre-Credits Sequence! DUN! Yep, The Thing's apparently lingering in the closet or painted herself to blend into the wallpaper like she's Wednesday Addams or whatever, and we're treated to a brief Thing-POV of the boys exiting the main parlor before we join Our Intrepid Heroes back in the farmhouse kitchen, and ooops! My bad. The Thing's evidently hidden herself inside the actual walls of the place, because she's still spying on Sam and Dean as the latter two root through the abandoned and empty kitchen cabinets. Dean eventually stumbles across a section of wall that's been hastily replastered; Sam guesses the old coot covered over a "dumbwaiter," and in actual fact, Sam, the only thing dumb about this scene is that guess of yours. A dumbwaiter? In a Nebraska farmhouse? Really, College Boy? If you'd have guessed "old laundry chute," I'd be fine with it, but then again, had you guessed "old laundry chute," the audience would have been deprived of the supposedly humorous moment immediately following, wherein Dim Dean accuses you of being a "know-it-all," because Dim Dean -- despite all appearances to the contrary -- is "street smart," you see, and you're just full up with that newfangled, Commie-pinko book-larnin', so I guess your guess wasn't the only dumb thing about this scene, now was it? Shut up, Supernatural.

Gah. ANY-way, where the hell was I? A-ha: The boys continue wandering through the supposedly deserted place, and Darling Sammy's briefly enthused over his trusty EMF reader's encouraging VWEEE-YORPs until Dean pisses all over Darling Sammy's parade by pointing out the nearby overhead power lines. They wander over to a closet to tangle their feet up in a red herring, but that's not important right now, because what is important right now is that Our Intrepid Heroes must deal with the family full of Monster Chow that's arriving below with a moving van. "Uh-oh," Sam gulps, for he'd been under the mistaken impression the house was still on the market. Sorry! Better research next time, boys!

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