So, where does that leave us? Waiting for Dashing El Deano and Darling Sammy to realize they're dealing with inbred mutant freaks, I suppose, which eventually happens when Bristol lurches out of the cubbyhole she's been locked in most of her sad, pathetic life to shove those goddamned sexy librarian glasses straight down her evil pageant bimbo of a mother's throat. Ooops. Actually, Show Bristol just lurches out of her cubbyhole and keeps lurching until she's shuffled through the line of salt, thereby proving to Our Intrepid Heroes (well, proving to Dean, as Sammy fucked off God knows where God knows when for whatever Godawful stupid reason) that she is not, in fact, a ghost. Which takes Bristol, like, three whole minutes of airtime to do, so aren't you glad we skipped ahead? In any event, once Bristol's crossed the line, Dean shoos the remaining Monster Chow out the front door again while he goes mano-a-whatever the Italian phrase is for "inbred clawlike appendage" with Bristol, who's produced a nasty-looking butcher's knife from the folds of her dress, and...no. Not "no" as in "No, I cannot believe an inbred mutant freak somehow has access to advanced kitchen utensils," but "no" as in, "No, I won't wonder where she got her dress after having been locked in the basement her entire life with her inbred mutant twin, Levi, because I've still got nearly twenty minutes of show to get through." That "no." Sigh. In any event, Dean fends her off with a fireplace poker as best he can until Darling Sammy returns from wherever the hell he'd been and shines a flashlight in Bristol's eyes. Bristol -- photophobic from all those years spent locked in the basement, don't you know -- immediately recoils from the flashlight's beam and, shrieking and hooting like the inbred banshee she is, retreats back into her magical cupboard.
Episode Report CardDemian: C- | 1894 USERS: C+
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