Later that evening, the special-needs son is up in his room, furiously fingering a PSP while his closet door slowly creaks open. "Hee!" titters Raoul. Wait. What? "Hee!" Raoul simply titters again, directing an elegant and perfectly honed claw at the last sentence I typed, and Jesus, Raoul, not like that! I mean the actual, physical door to the closet in his bedro...you know what? Screw it. "That's what he said!" KNOCK IT OFF, RAOUL. SO. The door creaks open, and the still-unseen Thing From The Pre-Credits Sequence rolls a filthy baseball across the floorboards to Special Needs over there on the carpet, and because Special Needs is one of those Idiot Children On The Television, he does not immediately run screaming from the room to shout dire warnings at his relatives like a normal person. Nope, Special Needs Son instead -- get this -- decides a spur-of-the-moment game of catch with The Thing From The Pre-Credits Sequence is in order, and proceeds to toss the goddamned ball back and forth with the freak, and as this fucking LOSER is clearly too STUPID to LIVE, let's skip ahead to the next scene.

And as this goddamned scene involves The Legend Of Billie Jean and her husband blathering endlessly about (I kid you not) soil acidity levels and zucchini -- of all the fucking useless things to have a conversation about when the twin inbred mutant freaks locked in the basement are about to burst out and slaughter you all -- and as they also drop ominous and poignant hints regarding Some Unnamed Family Tragedy I Could Not Possibly Care Less About Because For One Thing, Who The Hell Are These People, Anyway, And Why Should I Be Giving A Shit About Their Stupid Problems? And For Another, Did I Mention The Twin Inbred Mutant Freaks Locked In The Basement, For Christ's Sake?, I should probably get all of these nitwits' actual names out of the way: The Legend Of Billie Jean is "Susan Carter," Husband is "Brian," Probably-Gay Uncle is "Ted" (her brother, I think, though I've seen him credited as "Ted Carter" in various Internet places, so who the hell knows?), and Sassy Daughter and Special Needs Son are "Kate" and "Danny," respectively. Now you know. Not that it matters, because we're never going to see any of these boring dipshits again as long as we live, but there you go. You know, just in case you end up in some Pub Trivia contest and the topic just happens to be "Secondary Single-Episode Characters On Low-Rated Supernatural Dramas Named 'Supernatural' On The CW." It could happen.